My Best Friend Brings Her Boyfriend to Every Hangout, I've Had Enough

People talk a lot about setting healthy limits with partners or relatives, but we don’t always think about friendship boundaries. One of our readers got frustrated when her best friend kept tagging her boyfriend along to every hangout. Acting on impulse, she made a decision that ended up putting serious strain on their friendship.

We appreciate you sharing what you're going through. To help you move forward, we’ve put together a few suggestions that might make it easier to talk things out and hopefully clear the air with your friend.

Reach out with a sincere apology.

If she’s still not replying, sending a message that centers on how she might’ve felt can help reopen the door. Let her know you didn’t mean to hurt her or disrespect her relationship, but you miss spending time with her the way you used to. That kind of message shows maturity and gives her a reason to reconsider the silence.

Invite her to share her perspective without interrupting.

If she responds and is open to talking, make sure to listen to her side with patience. She might feel like you don’t support her relationship or that you crossed a boundary by taking her phone. Let her explain how she saw the situation, even if it’s hard to hear.

And once she feels heard, she may be more willing to hear your side, too. This mutual exchange is key in rebuilding trust and understanding.

Gently set boundaries for future hangouts.

If your friendship means a lot to you—and it clearly does—it’s okay to talk about what you need from it, too. When things calm down, explain that you truly value spending one-on-one time with her and that it makes you feel closer. Make it clear that you're not asking her to ditch her boyfriend, just to occasionally have space that’s just for the two of you.

Be willing to compromise and adjust expectations.

If she’s really in love or in that early, inseparable phase, she might not realize how much she’s unintentionally changed the dynamic. Rather than fighting it, consider ways to blend the new and the old. Suggest occasional hangouts with her boyfriend and others where it’s just the two of you. Being flexible shows you’re trying to be understanding.

Not every friendship stays on a good path, and Josh found that out the hard way. When he tried to support his friend, Rachel, she shut him down harshly—only to turn around and betray him right after he got the job he’d worked so hard for. Read the full story here.