My DIL Agreed to Me Living With Them, But Her Conditions Are Insulting

A mother’s affection for her children is boundless, and she wishes for them to reciprocate that affection. Roberta’s son, upon his father’s passing, didn’t want his mother to be solitary, so he invited her to reside with him, his spouse, and their kids. Roberta was overjoyed, but she was taken aback by the guidelines set by her daughter-in-law. She recounted her experience to us.

Open and honest conversation.

Have a calm conversation with your daughter-in-law, sharing your worries openly and politely. Recognize the significance of their household routines and food preferences, while also mentioning your requirements and limits. Clarify that you’re ready to pitch in with household tasks and cooking, but you want to be regarded as part of the family rather than just someone hired to help.

Create a chore rotation system.

To manage household responsibilities fairly, propose using a chore wheel involving all household members, including your son and daughter-in-law. This ensures an equitable sharing of tasks, enabling everyone to contribute based on their capabilities and availability, thus avoiding any sense of unfairness in chore allocation.

Explore external assistance and available resources.

If adapting to your daughter-in-law’s guidelines proves difficult, reaching out to external sources for help is worth considering. This might involve joining community organizations or seeking guidance from counselors or elder support groups.

Furthermore, you could look into resources for expanding your knowledge of vegan cooking, making it easier to adjust to preparing plant-based meals.

Assess other housing options.

If despite open discussion and efforts to find a middle ground, residing with your son and daughter-in-law feels overly constrictive or uneasy, considering alternative living setups might be prudent. This could entail locating your residence nearby, allowing you to remain close to your grandchildren while preserving your independence and self-reliance.

The bond between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can occasionally encounter tension. Gwen, a young woman, was taken aback by the «insulting» present her mother-in-law presented her with at her baby shower. Check out her full story here.