My Husband’s Friend Had a Miscarriage, and Now I Want Back the Gift We Gave Her

Money is a key aspect of our lives; however, worrying so much about it can bring us more problems than benefits. The dilemma of this user reminds us that material wealth is not everything, and supporting the people who are part of our lives in their difficult moments is worth much more.

Jen and I are not friends, but we tolerate each other and are cordial when we see each other. When she had her first baby, my husband bought her an expensive gift, like $200 or $300. But I had no problem with how much my husband spent on it.

A few years later, Jen and her husband started earning pretty well at their jobs. Then Jen announced she was pregnant again and sent my husband the list of gifts she would like to receive; it was full of expensive things.

I actually thought it was kind of weird because most of the items were the same as the ones she got for her first baby shower.

So my husband decided to spend about $400 on a gift, and I just told him it was fine with me. A few weeks later, unfortunately, Jen lost her baby. I don’t know the details, but she was obviously devastated, and I felt really bad for her.

It’s been a few months since everything happened and my husband isn’t sure how to handle the gift situation because it’s not something that her other child can use and trying to have another baby would be very risky for her. Asking her to return the present seems cruel, and it’s probably too late to return it and get a refund.

It would be different if they could have used the gift: that’s money well spent. But if it’s going to sit in a box for years, then we don’t think it’s right.

Would it be rude of us to ask them to return the present? If we can’t have our money back, we’d like to at least give it to someone who will use it.

People quickly reacted to her story

After sharing her story, this user received hundreds of comments letting her know that maybe she was the one reacting badly to the situation.

• She’s just lost her baby and her fertility. Don’t kick someone when they’re down. When she’s ready, she will probably sell your gift and use the money for something else, hopefully, something that brings her joy.
  You decided to spend a lot of money on a gift. Maybe give less in the future if you are going to feel resentful later. But do NOT add to this woman’s pain, so you can get your money back. That’s monstrous.© etds3 / Reddit

• You will look like an awful person if you ask for the gift back. You gave a gift, and you lost control of what happens to it. If the amount of money is an issue, then don’t give gifts you can’t afford. © Ducky818 / Reddit
• You should really ask yourself how you can become a better, more generous in spirit person. © snogweasel / Reddit

To better understand the feelings of others and support them, one can work on their emotional intelligence and try to develop it.