My Son Moved Across the Country and Expects Me to Visit Him Instead of Him Coming Home

My son dropped out of college, vanished across the country, and suddenly, his life revolves around someone I’ve never met. Now he’s making demands that have me questioning everything I thought about family, loyalty, and how far a parent’s support should really go.

This is an email from Norma and the story she shared:

"Hi Bright Side,

So my son was in college, doing fine, and then suddenly he met this girl online while playing some multiplayer game. Within a few months, he drops out, packs up, and moves across the country to live with her. He says she’s “the one,” they’re already talking about marriage and kids, and apparently, this girl’s family is his new family now.

Here’s where it gets messy: instead of coming home for holidays or even visiting us once, he says it’s on me to fly out to him. Not just me either, he wants me to bring his siblings AND pay for everyone’s tickets. Oh, and as if that wasn’t enough, he also wants me to cover the flights for his girlfriend’s parents too, because in his words, “we should all vacation together so everyone can bond.”

“I just sat there thinking, what planet are you living on? I’ve worked hard my whole life, I’m not made of money, and frankly, the entitlement just floored me. I told him that if he wants me to meet her family, he can come home first or at least not expect me to bankroll an entire group holiday. He got upset, said I wasn’t supporting his choices, and now we’re barely speaking.

So now I’m wondering if I’m being too harsh or unsupportive here. Am I really in the wrong for drawing the line?”

Bright Side readers reacted with emotional comments

Here are the top comments of Bright Side readers, who couldn’t pass by Norma’s expressive story:

• u/GameMom42: Wow, I get your frustration. I had a similar situation with my daughter moving across the country to be with someone she met online. She expected me to fly out for her wedding, and I just couldn’t justify it. I think you’re completely within your rights to say no.
• u/coffeeandbooks88: Honestly, your son sounds like he’s living in fantasy land. Expecting you to pay for everyone’s tickets, including her parents? That’s a huge ask. I’d stand my ground too.
• u/JustTrying2Help91: I don’t know, maybe he really does think this is how families are supposed to bond now. I know it sounds crazy, but some people genuinely assume family trips are a shared responsibility. Doesn’t make it fair, though.

• u/flatwhite789: My nephew did something similar. Moved to another state after meeting someone online. The parents felt hurt because they never saw him and he never came back for holidays. Sometimes it’s more about maintaining your relationship than the money.
• u/littlefox23: I feel for you. That’s a lot to ask from a parent. I think your reaction is reasonable. He’s an adult now; if he wants you to meet her family, he should at least make some effort himself.
• u/numbersandletters777: I get both sides a little. I mean, it’s nice he wants everyone to bond, but expecting someone to foot the bill for an entire group, including in-laws? That’s just not realistic. Boundaries are important here.

An honest opinion and advice from Bright Side team

Dear Norma,

Here’s a truth most parents may not want to admit: sometimes your kids are auditioning for a reality show called How to Make Mom Pay for Everything. Instead of arguing, embrace the theater. Create a “family passport” that exists only in your imagination, stamp it with fake trips, pretend exotic dinners, and daily adventures in your own living room.

Mail him a glittery postcard from your imaginary vacation to remind him that life is more fun when he funds his own chaos. Host a “meet the in-laws” Zoom call with stuffed animals or random neighbors wearing hats; it’s hilarious and guilt-proof. Let him stew in his expectations while you perfect the art of ironic enjoyment. And remember: you can love someone dearly and still never buy them a plane ticket to fantasy land.

Meeting your partner’s family for the first time can be nerve-wracking. In this story, a woman found herself overshadowed by the excitement of a new grandchild during dinner. Her reaction sparked tension, showing how emotions run high when love, family, and first impressions collide.