I Love My Wife, but Her New Life Choice Ruins Our Relationship

As summer approaches, the scent of awkward truth fills the air. Dive into this raw and painfully relatable post where readers weigh in on the smelliest marital dilemma yet. Is honesty the best policy—or the fastest path to hurt feelings?

A year ago, my wife switched to “natural” deodorant. She is terrified of aluminum. She believes it can contribute to Alzheimer’s. She has been wearing aluminum-free deodorant, and OMG... It’s bad. Like, very bad. I don’t know how she can stand it.

When I come home from work, most of the time, the entire house smells like body odor. Her dirty laundry in the hamper emits body odor. Occasionally, she reaches around my neck to give me a hug, and it’s like getting rubbed across the cheek very slowly with a damp sponge. I have to actually hold my breath and pretend like I need to go to the bathroom and bolt off.

Now I’ll be snarky here, if she were a man, I’d just tell him that he smells, but as a woman, she’d probably start crying if I mentioned this... What’s the gentlest way to approach? Summer is coming 😫

Some commenters jumped in with helpful conversation starters to break the ice:

• You, as her husband, have a moral obligation to tell her that it’s not working. Just tell her, “Dear, please don’t get offended, but I have to tell you that since you’ve been using that deodorant, I feel that you are not using any deodorant at all...” © GoodImprovement4255 / Reddit

• In a room with no one but the two of you, say, “Everyone here whose natural deodorant actually works, raise your hand. Whoa there, not you.” © antilumin / Reddit

• Honey, I think it’s time to look into alternatives to that natural deodorant; I don’t think it’s quite working well. © Wonderful-Bass6651 / Reddit

Others couldn’t help but feel disheartened that honesty still seems like a luxury in some relationships:

• Seriously, this is your wife. If you can’t be honest with her about something so simple as her smell, what else are you afraid to tell her? A spouse relationship should be one with no secrets. If you had horrible breath, would you want her to tell you? Give her the same courtesy. © froggrl83 / Reddit

• What’s the point of being married if you can’t tell your spouse things that no one else will? © rolyatm97 / Reddit

• I’m always surprised to hear that people are afraid to have these ‘awkward’ conversations with their spouse. I straight up tell my wife when she has bad breath or is a lil musty, and she extends the same courtesy to me. This could never go on for a whole year in my house. © Creative-Respond4160 / Reddit

• You need to understand that she’ll probably be very upset, but it won’t be because she’s a woman, it’ll be because you allowed her to go around reeking FOR A YEAR without giving her a heads-up, which would be upsetting information for anyone.
  If you’d told her when she first switched to that deodorant that it wasn’t working, this wouldn’t have been a big deal. At this point, there’s no way to handle this that won’t be upsetting, but you’re the one who created that situation. © antiperistasis / Reddit

• I’m confused since you said she’s your wife. How has this subject not been brought up for the whole year you’ve been having issues with this? Are you all not, like, actually in a relationship? © Brumtol10 / Reddit

Several women also chimed in, eager to share their side of the story:

• I’m a woman, and if my partner told me this, honestly, I would be embarrassed, but I would appreciate it because if he can smell it, so can everyone else. © okrespekt / Reddit

• I am a woman who stinks when she sweats. Tell her. I would rather my husband tell me I’m stinky than end up being ostracized because everyone can smell me. © TaxiLady6* / Reddit

And while some people squirm just thinking about an awkward conversation, one future mother-in-law took it to a whole new level—taking her son’s phone, pretending to be his bride, and sabotaging their honeymoon with a single call.