My Girlfriend Keeps Pics of Her Ex, and I Feel Uneasy About It

When starting a new relationship, we want to make sure that our new partner doesn’t have any feelings for their ex. However, sometimes we find out that our lover still has some things like gifts or photos left from the past. And despite being happy in a new relationship, this fact can make us jealous and suspect that our partner’s old feelings are still alive.

We got a new message in our Bright Side mailbox from a guy who feels uneasy because his girlfriend has a photo of her ex.

Hey Rien! We have discussed your situation with our Bright Side teammates, and we all have different points, you may read them all below:

• First of all, the point that she keeps these photos as a part of her story may be true! A study shows that 61% of women keep photos of their exes to hold on to memories that they don’t want to forget. It doesn’t mean that they have romantic feelings towards their exes, they just want/ed to keep their photos as ’pieces of the past’. Every moment is worth being remembered, no matter if it was good or bad.

• However, still, there is a possibility that she still may feel something towards her ex. It is okay in some sense to keep photos where they are together, but keeping his solo pics may really raise some concerns. Even though she doesn’t love him anymore, but she still may have some warm feelings toward him and even miss him. Give her time, don’t put pressure, maybe she will talk with you openly regarding this later.

• When you start talking about this, try to explain to her that you are totally fine with keeping group photos with her ex on some occasions, but not their solo photos. She should understand that in these photos they are in love, and although they are the part of her story, it is not very pleasant for you to see them and think about the fact that she wants to keep them.

• Suggest she put herself in your shoes. Would she be okay with the fact that you have photos with your ex where you are in love and happy? How confident would she feel in this case? Try to explain these things politely and calmly without aggression, maybe she will understand.

• On another hand, you may try to forget about this ’issue’ for now and give her some time. Even if she doesn’t want to delete these photos today, she may change her mind later and decide that there is no need to keep them anymore. Sometimes we tend to store stuff from the past that we think we need but within the time we realize that it has nothing to do with our current life, so we move on and let the past go.

Do you keep photos of your ex? And would you be upset if you found out that your partner is doing it?