People Who Are Happily Married Share Their Advice for Maintaining a Relationship

According to research, falling in love takes only a fifth of a second. However, marriage longevity is not a matter of science. Everything depends on the work you do to keep it alive for as long as possible. These users shared their best tips for a happy marriage, some of them have been together for as long as 15 years, and we bet they know what they’re talking about.

Bright Side chose simple yet effective tips that might come in handy one day or right now.

1.

When getting into disagreements don’t try to solve it right away. Take 5-10 minutes to think it over separately, then talk it out. Taking the time to collect your thoughts will prevent arguments.
Limited_two / Reddit

2.

21 years together... If you can’t sit in silence with your spouse or go and be spontaneous together, then you need to figure out why. I asked one friend, “Would you be friends with your spouse if you weren’t married?” She said no. That’s so sad and will eventually end in disaster unless something’s done. Be each other’s best friends. Lust may eventually disappear, but the friendship and comfort will keep you going.
NeverEnoughSleep08 / Reddit

3.

Marriage isn’t about having a relationship without problems, it’s about having a relationship that solves problems effectively.
mesok8 / Reddit

4.

Someone once told me, “Once you get married, your wife becomes your family and your family becomes your relatives.” Really helped me through any stressful family gatherings, knowing we had each other’s backs, being our own team.

johnthestarr / Reddit

5.

The point of arguing is not to win, it is to understand where they’re coming from and why this issue matters to them.
Manateebae / Reddit

6.

15 years together is coming up in May. Marriage is not built on romantic feelings but on loyalty, trust, communication, and perseverance. Every day I make the choice to spend the rest of my life with this man.
BananaVixen / Reddit

7.

Honestly, space. Give each other space. Do different things, have different hobbies. It’ll help you grow as people and bring new, fresh perspectives to each other.
everysundae / Reddit

8.

Anger is neither a reason nor an excuse for bad behavior. You will get angry, you will fight, but you should never insult, indulge in name-calling, throw things, or hit them. If you cannot or choose not to control what comes out of your mouth when you are angry, work on that first, get married second.

questfor17 / Reddit

9.

Continue to act like you’re courting your spouse. Date nights, physical affection, and words and gestures of love. Keep winning them over and surprising them in little ways. Keep it fresh.
greenskinMike / Reddit

10.

Go to bed angry sometimes. There’re some arguments or disagreements that need you to sleep on to figure out. 9 times out of 10, you’re gonna wake up the next morning and realize you both misunderstood something minor or were just in a cranky mood.
vk2786 / Reddit

11.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. They’re not going to fold your underwear the way you do. If you criticize every little thing they do, they’re not going to want to be around you for long.
Rewdboy05 / Reddit

12.

Romantic feelings can be hard to come by during tough times. It is a deliberate choice to persevere. And there are always tough times, a marriage isn’t broken just because these things happen.
A relationship between 2 people can be a roller coaster.
Of course don’t persevere through abuse. Perseverance is never worth it without genuine care and trust.
Mental_Vacation / Reddit

13.

If you’re upset, explain and come up with a preventative plan. “I’m upset because I was expecting you to take the trash out 2 days ago and you didn’t. I’m sorry for not bringing it up all the time. I’ll let you know next time before I get emotional so we can resolve this immediately and skip the argument.”
NervousHour4129 / Reddit

14.

The biggest transition is if you weren’t living together before. Getting used to sharing everything can be difficult for some, but good communication is key to making things work. Discuss finances; once married, you take on each other’s debts and responsibilities. Finances are one of, if not the biggest, reasons for failed marriages, so get on the same page early and stay there.
Ounceof*****y / Reddit

15.

Learn to embrace quirks. For example, my husband, every day, without fail, will come in and take off his shoes and socks and leave his socks wherever they get taken off. It drives me batty but, my God, if one day he didn’t walk through the door and yeet them off his feet... I’d be devastated. Because that means he’s gone.
TheRavenGirl13 / Reddit

How long have you been married? What tips help you to maintain a healthy marriage?