Bright Side

Why Being the Black Sheep of Your Family Makes You a Special Person

When someone says they have a black sheep in their family, we probably imagine someone weird, who’s maybe even bad-tempered, and who’s been in trouble with the law. However, a lot of the times that’s not the case, and those people don’t deserve to be treated like outcasts. All they’re guilty of is being different, probably even in a positive way.

We at Bright Side think being the black sheep of the family is actually a good thing in many cases. And here’s why.

1. It makes you feel free.

We all want to belong. But sometimes you can only feel this sense of belonging if you sacrifice something. To be accepted by your family members, you might need to constrain yourself. You hide your true self and don’t allow yourself to do the things you want to do and that you find right.

If you are the black sheep, you don’t need to get your family to accept you. And that can give you so much freedom to make your own choices in life, without having to please anyone. You don’t have to compromise your values and beliefs, and you can stay true to yourself. No one is controlling you anymore.

2. It distances you from toxic people.

As much as it can hurt to feel like an outsider in your own family and maybe even to end up having little to no contact with them, this can actually be better for you. The constant control, and the constant desire to change you to fit their ideals and to impose their standards onto you can really take a toll on your mental health and the way you see yourself. So getting away from those people is only doing you good.

3. It makes you self-sufficient.

Being different from your family teaches you to be independent. You can’t trust your family members to help you make choices that will be best for you, because they’ll always be thinking about their interests and what they find right.

So you learn to rely only on yourself to make important life decisions. And you learn to deal with your problems on your own, because you realize that running to your family for help might only make things worse and make you more dependent on them.

4. It makes you stronger.

Not being fully accepted by your own family can prepare you for difficult situations later in life. You’ll keep going if you fail, because you know that not everyone will welcome you with open arms. Your ability to stand up for yourself and what you believe in will not let you break, even in the hardest times. And if someone criticizes you, you won’t let it disturb you because you’re used to it and you know how to deal with it.

5. It makes you unique.

If your family thinks you’re odd, you probably just don’t have a lot in common with them. Or your open-mindedness intimidates them. These are some of the reasons they might want to make you feel bad about being different. But it doesn’t mean you’re wrong or that you need to change.

Those unique traits that you have and that your family doesn’t like about you, might help you fit in with others, those who feel the same way about what you believe in and how you go about your life. You might realize that what your family found odd, and even unacceptable, is actually the norm for other groups of people.

6. It shows your courage.

Being able to stand up for what you believe in and to not conform requires courage. It’s a big step to assert your identity and decide to stay true to yourself. It means you’ll probably have to put up with constant criticism, ridicule, and your family’s disappointment in you if you stay in touch with them. And it can be even harder if you decide to let go of them for the sake of living a more peaceful and free life.

Are you the black sheep of your family? How did it make you feel and how did you deal with it? Please share your thoughts in the comments!