12 Workplace Moments That Proved Respect Matters More Than Rules

• My first boss honestly set the bar SO high and I haven’t had any other bosses that came even a smidgen close. When I had a emergency personal matter to attend to, I was all apologetic and called her to take the rest of the afternoon off. She comforted me, didn’t make me feel bad and told me I am free to take the rest of tomorrow off too, if I needed. She was also very protective of my boundaries and personal time. She would caution me against giving my personal number to clients, warning me that some of them may call outside of work hours. And that if they insist, I am to pass them her number instead and stress that it was her instructions. She was generous with her compliments, the simplest accomplishment would earn me a “well done”. She also spoke well of me with the upper management so that I’m ‘known’ for my work. She’d initiate discussions about my career development. When I made mistakes, she would correct me and sheer guilt would made me make sure I never repeat them out of negligence again. Once I was disrespected by someone else in another department, and she put in a word about it with that person’s supervisor. She remembered little details like the names of my family members I mentioned in passing. I never had to work a minute late. In fact our big boss (her boss) enforced a work-life balance policy and made his rounds to check that everyone in the office were packing by 6pm. The office was locked up by 6.30pm. Beyond blessed that I had her as a boss during my tenure in the company.

• When I was younger I worked F&B. It was a small, family owned restaurant. Got the job through one of my mother’s friends and was working while waiting for school. At the time, my grandmother was rather sick and had been in hospital for a while already. She was the one who brought me up (parents both worked) so it affected me quite badly. One day I got a message from my mum during a shift saying that my grandma’s condition was worsening. She told me to go to the hospital straight after work, which I agreed. Obviously I was quite affected and was showing it. The boss saw me and asked what had happened. I told her and she immediately told me to go down to the hospital ASAP. I honestly didn’t want to (this was during the lunch time so the restaurant was quite busy) but she insisted. Because of her, I got to spend those last few hours with my grandma. Meant a lot to me.

• Sharing some context first: in the workplace I’m a quiet reserved person who gets work done effectively, but am usually uncomfortable with asking questions to challenge the status quo. In the past, whenever I had a new manager, for the first year or so, all of them would shame me for not being vocal enough (“you’re too quiet!” “You never ask enough questions!”), and pressurize me to speak up. But obviously this backfired because the more they shame and pressurize me, the less comfortable I would be with speaking up. As for my current line manager (I’ve been working with him for 2 months), instead of shaming me with “you never do xxxxx”, he would encourage me to ask questions by modelling the behaviour and patiently explaining his thought process to me, so that I know where to start. And when he notices me taking steps in that direction, no matter how small, he’d praise the behaviour. I truly appreciate how he helps me feel safe enough to step out of my comfort zone. My current big boss (my line manager’s line manager) is awesome as well. Among other things, I appreciate how he accepts that different team members have different strengths and that each team member can contribute to the team in their own unique way. Unlike previous bosses, he never pressurizes me to try to fit into a specific “mould” of a so-called “ideal team member”. He always emphasizes that a team works most effectively when everyone is able to make use of their strengths. I’m thankful to be in a department led by him.

• My current boss is the one of the best so far . She is so hands on and never trouble my team for simple stuff . She is practically a walking dictionary of all company matters . If she ever leaves the company I think I wouldn’t stayed on :/ that is how important bosses are ! People don’t quit jobs they quit bosses :)

• Once had a boss that after seeing me do some crazy hours and fixing some important problems took the time to find out I liked to skydive. He called the drop zone put $1000 in my account and gave me the rest of the week off to go jump. His boss then questioned the wisdom of letting a key employee go risk his life for fun.

• I work in higher education and my best bosses have let me experience things in the field that I isn’t necessarily in my job description. There’s a conference in another state that no one in the department has ever been to and we can afford to send you? Check it out. You usually work in advising but would like to volunteer a bit in the conduct process? You are now free to do that 2 hours each Friday. I realize that not every institution or company is structured this way, but my supervisor realizes that I’m young and new to the field and doesn’t allow me to pigeon-hole myself.

• I was mid-honeymoon when my boss texted: " Cancel your plans. We need you right now!" I left my spouse & worked until sunrise. Days later, my coworker warned: “Don’t panic. Check HR’s email.” My heart dropped. Everyone got promoted except me because I had been secretly nominated by my boss for a leadership role. He didn’t want to announce it until HR finalized everything because it came with more responsibility and a bigger team. The “extra work” during my honeymoon was actually the final project that proved I was ready.

• I’ve been with my company for 14 years, and I’m actually the most junior in my department. We’re all like family. My boss doesn’t care what time we come into work, how long of a lunch we take, or what time we leave as long as all our work gets done. She budgets $10-$15K a year for us to use on “business meals”, and we take an annual trip to Disneyland and other places. She fights for our promotions and raises every year, and truly cares about all of us. We’re never micro-managed, we all respect each other, and there still has never been a day when I don’t look forward to going to work. She’s amazing at what she does and is very humble and credits us as to why she’s successful. During slower months, she gives us 3-4 day weekends, and encourages us to use all our sick pay before vacation since ours doesn’t roll over. This is in addition to our company’s 2 week paid holiday closure.

• I was in a long-distance relationship for a few years, and at one point I was working at a golf course. My girlfriend was in town for a few days while I was working, and my boss came up to me and said “I know you don’t get a lot of time to see your girlfriend, so why don’t you take today and tomorrow off? Work can wait.” It was such a great gesture and I’ve never forgotten it.

• I’m diabetic, so I have to eat on time. My boss knew that, but she kept scheduling lunch meetings. Every time I reminded her, she’d say, “You can eat later.” One day, I felt shaky during a meeting and had to leave. Next morning, my blood boiled when HR called me. I assumed I was in trouble for walking out of the meeting. Instead, HR asked me if I was okay and said my boss wanted to talk about my lunch schedule. She had already asked HR to make sure I had a protected lunch break and said she would take the blame for any meetings that needed to be moved. When I asked why, HR said, “Your boss told us she didn’t realise how bad it had gotten until she saw you struggling yesterday.” Later that morning, my boss stopped by my desk. “I kept telling you to eat later,” she said. “Yesterday made me realise I was asking you to put your health second because my calendar was inconvenient. That wasn’t fair.” She didn’t make a big apology. She just moved my lunch block on the calendar and told me, “If I schedule over it again, remind me.” I never had to.

• I once moved to California as a teenager. (It was one of those ’find your dreams’ things that rarely works out.) And since I was poor as hell, my boss would pay for me to have lunch everyday. I am forever in admiration of the kindness she showed me, and feel a responsibility to pay it forward someday.

• I was complaining to a coworker — during the workday, no less — about apartment hunting and how bleak it is. Just stories of not hearing back from anyone or how only the worst apartments seemed to be renting. My boss (I can only assume) overheard, and sent me an email saying, Hey — I don’t know if this would help, but I can easily send an email to a potential landlord saying how responsible, reliable and dependable you are. Sometimes that helps. This was at a time when I was so overwhelmed with work and actually getting worried that she’d want to let me go. It was so nice to hear that from her, and it put to ease any worries that I was expendable, as well as helping diffuse the stress of finding an apartment.

Rules can keep a workplace running smoothly, but there are times when showing a little understanding matters more than sticking to the rulebook. The stories above prove that respect, compassion, and common sense can make a bigger difference than any policy ever could.