Bringing anger to bed is one of the most hurtful things you can do. When awake, we have the chance to process negative emotions and let go of them. But as we hit the hay, uneasy feelings can grow bigger, and even a minor inconvenience can swell into a truly Shakespearean drama.
Bright Side investigated how bedtime anger affects our sleep and hopes to shed some light on the matter.
Stress and heavy feelings are known to trigger a fight-or-flight response that makes you physically alert. In these circumstances, falling asleep and staying asleep become much harder.
Furthermore, it has also been proven that disrupted sleep can build more anger. You’ll likely wake up exhausted instead of refreshed. In this case, anger leads to bad sleep and bad sleep leads to more anger, forming a cursed cycle that no one wants to find themselves in.
Scientists have already determined that the quality of sleep influences one’s overall health. Normally, sleep acts as “overnight therapy,” stabilizing our emotions so that we can better cope with our feelings the next day. But anger and intense stress can jeopardize this process. Negative emotions release stress hormones, making you more irritable, and a lot of worrying symptoms can come along with that.
In the long run, it can lead to insomnia, fitful sleep, and nightmares — or, in the worst cases, mental health problems, like depression.
Researchers claim that we’re less able to suppress a negative experience after we sleep than before it. Sleep magnifies any emotions, thoughts, and problems. When we sleep, our brain processes new information and stores it into our short and long-term memory. During sleep, anger goes into our long-term memory and can have a long-lasting effect.
A bad experience is greatly reduced if we stay awake after it, while sleep “protects” the negative emotional reaction. When bad feelings are solidified in your memory, it will be much harder to suppress them in the future.
It’s known that the late evening is a peak time for intimacy. Going to bed mad surely ruins the mood but it also establishes a toxic pattern. In the end, you start to associate bedtime with anger instead of comfort and connection with your partner. And if this is repeated on a regular basis, it may turn into bitterness and will eventually destroy the relationship.
If in the midst of an argument you decide to just roll over and pull your blanket tight, you’re sending a message that you value “winning” in the conflict more than maintaining a healthy relationship with the person you’re arguing with. You may not be communicating that on purpose, but that’s often the takeaway. The way you deal with disagreements can either strengthen or break up your relationships.
How do you usually feel in the morning if you go to sleep with a heavy heart?
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And what will happen if you want to sleep sad?
