8 Upbringing Methods That Used to Be the Norm but Seem Outrageous Now
Some methods of upbringing get a very firm position in society, and they’re passed down from generation to generation and are used habitually since everyone was raised this way. However, when looking back, modern people start to notice that some upbringing methods should actually be reconsidered.
We at Bright Side decided to study what mistakes were unintentionally made when dealing with kids for a long time and which approach has replaced them.
Making a kid feel scared is a sure way to make them obedient.
Fear often helps parents get the desired behavior from their kid, however, this, in fact, is emotional abuse. That’s because expecting their mom to be stolen by the Bogeyman or that she’ll leave and never come back can leave a trace on a kid’s psyche and make them reserved and fearful. Care for a kid’s psychological health should be more important than the parents’ momentary desire to make them behave properly.
Reprimanding a kid in front of others strengthens the educational effect.
The norms of good manners say that conflicts should be solved alone. The attempt to discipline your child is not the same as punishing them, and that’s why parents need to have a mindful approach to such dialogues.
Moreover, the educational process is no less intimate than issues with a partner. A husband or wife is unlikely to enjoy being told off in public. Kids can also feel humiliated in such cases.
Everyone pampers kids, it’s simply impossible to say no to them.
It’s hard to say no to a cute kid when they want something. However, it’s worth remembering at such moments that this can spoil your current relationship and their future too. All because, over time, the kid will become truly hysterical and demanding, and fulfilling their wishes will no longer be an act of your goodwill but your duty.
Also, the kid might get communication issues in the future, along with excessive weight gain if they continue to consume unhealthy food uncontrollably.
Yelling is a normal part of the educative process.
It’s hard to hold back the burst of emotions when a kid starts to behave badly, especially in front of other people who will likely look at you, a “negligent parent,” with judgment. However, the screams of an adult only worsen the situation at this moment. It’s much better to show patience and understanding toward the kid from an early age so that they grow into a more patient person, find a common language with their parents more easily, and are more open-minded.
Good grades are a guarantee of a successful life in the future.
Good grades are gradually losing their hold on us. Today, it’s clear that it’s not the only factor that determines the success of a child. Studies have shown that personality traits, such as emotional intelligence, interpersonal skills, and leadership skills, are much more accurate in predicting a child’s future potential.
Personal borders are only for adults.
There are various reasons why a kid might not want any touches, kisses, and hugs from other people, even if those are relatives. Would an adult person like it if they were forced to engage in physical contact? Obviously, no.
The kid also has the right to refuse such attention from adults because they also have personal boundaries. From the parents’ perspective, it’s correct to support these boundaries instead of forcing kids to do what they don’t want to do.
A son doesn’t need tenderness, otherwise, he will grow into a namby-pamby.
Generally speaking, any gender stereotypes regarding kids are questionable. When it comes to affection, children of any age and gender strive to feel loved — this makes them happy and gives them self-confidence. Not giving tenderness to a kid is strange because it will make him feel unloved and foster the development of negative qualities, such as insecurity and low self-esteem.
Work and money will bring more benefits to the kid than time spent together. They will understand everything later.
Of course, there are situations when leaving a kid with their granny or babysitter is the only possible solution. However, we all can admit that it’s possible to find some time for things that are really important, even with the most hectic schedule.
Spending 30 minutes to read a fairy tale or go to the park on the weekend should also be parents’ top priorities in addition to their career or attempts to have a personal life. This is especially true when taking into account that it directly affects how happy, self-confident, and less anxious the kid will grow up to be.
Do you agree that modern tendencies in raising kids are more delicate? If no, then why?