I Can’t Believe What My Fiancé Wants to Do With MY Inheritance

A woman experiencing a difficult time in her five-year relationship turned to online communities for guidance. Following a heated argument with her fiancé about finances, she questioned whether she was justified in standing her ground against the man she loves.

I became engaged to my partner, a 35-year-old man, just a year ago. We’ve been together for 5 years now, and our wedding is scheduled for May 2025.

Sadly, only a couple of weeks after our engagement, my nanna passed away. She and my grandfather had worked tirelessly throughout their lives, achieving great success and financial stability. They were frugal in their younger years, allowing them to accumulate significant wealth in their later years. My grandfather, particularly, is exceptionally intelligent and skilled in managing money and investments.

In her will, my grandmother left a remarkably generous amount of money to be divided among me, my brother, and my three cousins. Even after dividing the money, each of us received a substantial sum. I prefer not to disclose the exact amount.

Upon hearing the news, I shared it with my fiancé, who seemed incredibly overjoyed, much more than I had anticipated. I shrugged it off, but the next day I overheard him talking to his friends during a gaming session, «I can pay my credit card off with that money, mate! We can finally get that boys’ holiday we’ve been planning!»

I walked into the room and asked, «What money?» He gave me a strange look and replied, «From your nan, babe.» That’s when I lost it. I told him firmly, «You won’t be using any of that money without my consent, and there’s definitely no boys’ holiday happening. It’s not your money to claim; it’s specifically designated to me by MY grandmother. It’s not up for debate.»

Our argument escalated quickly, with raised voices and hurtful words exchanged. I stormed out of the room, feeling upset and frustrated. Later, he stopped his gaming session to confront me in the kitchen, accusing me of embarrassing him in front of his friends and implying that my financial assets would automatically become his once we were married.

It wasn’t me who brought up the idea of a holiday, and his assumption that I’d be a financial burden is baseless, considering I have a stable job and no plans for children. Unable to bear the tension, I left the house without saying another word and sought refuge at a friend’s place, where I’m writing this.

I should mention that this altercation just occurred. Until now, I wasn’t even certain if I would receive the inheritance due to various family and legal complications. Am I at fault here?

Following the post, the woman received support from others.

• I’d tell him you’re refusing your inheritance for now and see how he reacts. Seems like it’s something he’s been counting on. © Novel_Ad1943 / Reddit

• My now-husband was aware I had an inheritance. Not once has he ever asked me for money or to pay for something that’s for him alone. It’s always been thought of as money left to me to help me start my life.
  This man who called you a burden isn’t worth the paper that money is printed on. How dare he assume that money will be his just because he exists in your life? The decision is of course yours, but I would think about if this is the person you want to weather hardships with, financial or otherwise, for the rest of your life. © OneUnderstanding3484 / Reddit

• Do you really want to marry this guy? There are 2 problems:
  1. He assumed he was entitled to the money.
  2. He assumed he could spend it on a discretionary item that does not include you.
  Problem 2 is the bigger issue. © midnightschild / Reddit

• He’s a man-child. He can finally get that boys’ holiday? He’s 35!
  Think you might have had a lucky escape. He’s not planning your dream wedding, your dream honeymoon, house, etc. He’s paying off his debts and taking his friends away. It seems very selfish to me. © Tx2xAxG / Reddit

• Protect your inheritance. Put it someplace he cannot get to it and let it earn interest while you decide how best to use it. Your nanna would not be pleased with you if you let your boyfriend essentially steal it from you and spend it on useless things. © Aragona36 / Reddit

Most of those who offered advice were in general agreement on a significant point.

• Run. This guy is planning on spending your inheritance before you even get It. If I were you, I’d seriously end the relationship now. He has proven how he feels about you. You will be his financial burden? How? When YOU have an inheritance? If you do decide to stay in the relationship and marry this man, I’d demand a prenup, and if he refuses, then walk away. © DarklissD**ll / Reddit

• Stop the wedding. Do not marry this guy.
  First, wow, he’s got credit card debt he’s never paid off? Living beyond his means is a HABIT.
  Second, what’s his is his, and what’s yours is his? Oh, honey NO.
  Third, he says you would be «the burden» on him in the relationship? This man exhibits all the classic narcissist tells.
  Your grandparent’s last gift to you wasn’t just the money, but the wisdom of who this guy is underneath. No character, only entitlement. © Myay-4111 / Reddit

• He has shown you that he thinks of you as a burden and is planning on spending money that isn’t his on his ‘boys’. And he’s screaming at you because you won’t fall in with his plans. You’re nuts if you marry him. © CriticalSimple3122 / Reddit

It’s not uncommon for families to face conflicts, and disagreements with mothers-in-law are a typical part of family dynamics. In one instance, a woman found herself in a tense situation when her mother-in-law became upset upon seeing her son washing dishes.