I Demand That My In-Laws Pay If They Want to Eat With Us

Housework can be exhausting, especially when cleaning up after hosting guests. Holly, a Bright Side reader, feels overwhelmed after her in-laws’ Sunday visits, with little support from her husband. She’s seeking advice on how to handle the situation.

Here is Holly’s letter:

Thank you for sharing your story, Holly! We’ve got some tips ready for you that we hope you’ll find helpful.

Set clear rules and let everyone know what’s expected.

Have a calm and honest chat with your husband and his family. Share how you feel about the situation and the stress it causes you after their visits. Recognize their past support in buying the house, but stress that the current concern is about maintaining its cleanliness.

Clearly state what you need from them, whether it’s pitching in with cleaning, bringing dishes, or even chipping in for cleaning services

Switch up who hosts events.

How about suggesting a rotation system where different family members alternate hosting Sunday lunches? This way, everyone shares the responsibility of cleaning and hosting duties, preventing anyone from feeling overburdened or exploited.

Propose that each host ensures their home is clean before and after the gathering, promoting a sense of shared responsibility and fairness within the family.

Consider reaching out for outside help.

If talking directly with your husband and his family is tough, think about getting help from an outsider like a mediator or counselor. They can guide positive conversations and help find solutions everyone agrees on.

Talking to a professional can also give you advice on managing family dynamics and solving conflicts well.

Take it easy and don’t let stress get to you.

Make sure to take care of yourself by practicing self-care. Understand that you have the right to set boundaries in your own home, regardless of family pressures.

Try to schedule regular activities for yourself, like a nice bath, a walk, or doing something you enjoy. Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s important for your well-being and happiness.

Navigating relationships with in-laws can be tricky. Nadine, a fellow reader, faced a dilemma when her in-laws invited the entire family to dinner but left out her kids. You can find her story in detail here.