I Dumped My Date After She Was 45 Minutes Late but I’m Not Sure If I Did the Right Thing

Navigating the complexities of dating can often feel like threading a needle in a dark room. Each decision carries weight, and sometimes, it’s difficult to decide the right way to go. In today’s story, being late was the last straw on a first date.

He shared his story.

I had a first date scheduled with a woman I met on a dating site. We agreed to meet for coffee at 2 pm. I arrived on time. At 2:10, she texted me and asked if I was at the cafe. I said yes, and she said she was at home but would leave soon and be there in 20 minutes.

Basically, her text implied she was waiting to make sure I was there before she bothered to leave home. I was put off. I took the risk she wouldn’t show up and came on time. She should have to. Am I wrong?

I finished my coffee and left at 2:30. She still wasn’t there. At 2:45, I got a text from her wanting to know where I was. I said, “I finished my coffee and left at 2:30 when you still weren’t there as promised.” She sent a series of nasty texts telling me how awful I was and how I did everything wrong. I should have texted her and told her I was leaving etc.

Do women really expect men to sit and wait 45 minutes for them to arrive late — when the only reason they are late is to make you wait? It sure seemed like it was a game or test. Either way, she failed my tests. I’d sure like to hear from the women on this one.

People stood on his side.

• “I am a woman. She was out of line to think anyone would wait over 15 minutes for her. If her car broke down or had another emergency, that would be understandable, but this is just plain rude.” Far-Juggernaut8880 / Reddit
• “It’s one thing to text and say ‘I’m sorry I’m running late’ and then arrive at a reasonable time (10 to 15 minutes late). It’s completely different, to text twice and show up 45 minutes late. You gave her more than a reasonable amount of time to show up.
  She didn’t apologize. Her response was out of line, sending you nasty texts blaming you for doing things wrong. She sounds entitled.” No-Alarm-2208 / Reddit
• “Yeah, and this doesn’t have to do with gender, just about being a rude person. I’ve had guys pull the same thing.” SeasonPositive6771 / Reddit

• “You should have left when she was still at home at 2:10!” garycow / Reddit
• “You were very gracious to stay as long as you did. You were on time. She deliberately wasted your time. Hold your head high. The fault is all with her.” imnotk8 / Reddit
• “I would have downed the coffee and replied with a ‘Don’t bother, I’m leaving’ the second I read she hadn’t even left the house. The absolute audacity of the woman. Lacking any kind of basic manners and respect.” Unknown author / Reddit

• “She is out of her mind, thinking she has any room or right to say you’re in the wrong. I’m mind blown she would tell you she hadn’t even left the house like that’s not embarrassing. She managed to save you a LOT of time by wasting your time on that first date, though. Better to find out early what she’s like.” SkilletKitten / Reddit
• “I’m a woman and I would have left too. People who are chronically late are selfish because they think no one else’s time matters.” Caspian4136 / Reddit
• “Embarrassed to say I am chronically late, but I always give as much notice as possible. Like if I know I am going to be 15 min before the time, I will tell you then. Not as considerate as being on time, but it is progress.” mnth241 / Reddit

In the world of relationships, decisions are rarely black and white; they often reside in gloomy shades of gray. The choice to end a date due to lateness may seem clear-cut on the surface yet beneath lies emotions, doubts, and second-guessing. As we navigate the labyrinth of dating etiquette, it becomes evident that there is no one-size-fits-all answer to such dilemmas. Each situation is unique, colored by individual circumstances and perspectives.