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I Refuse to Go to My Best Friend’s Wedding Because of Her Fiancé
Everyone makes mistakes, and even marriages can end in heartbreak when disagreements become too much. People often say, “If it’s meant to be, they’ll find their way back to each other,” but what if giving it another chance only leads to the same mistakes? One of our readers reached out with a story that dives into this very question, it’s not about herself, but about her best friend.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Your letter will remain anonymous, and we’ve prepared some ideas to help you with this situation.
Talk with your friend alone.
Find a quiet moment to talk with your friend privately. Ask her what makes her feel confident about this decision and how she’s prioritizing her happiness. Share your thoughts calmly and without judgment, reminding her to consider a few important things before getting back with her ex. Let her know that, no matter what happens, you’ll be there for her.
Be there for her, even if it means politely declining Maid of Honor duties.
If you’re struggling with your own feelings about the situation and being her maid of honor feels overwhelming, it’s okay to say no. Instead of trying to shield your friend, focus on being there for her. Let her know you trust her decision, even if it’s hard to understand, and that you’ll always support her. This way, you’re showing support for her as a person without putting too much focus on the relationship. It’s a simple way to stay close and let her feel your care without adding extra pressure.
Refresh her memories of what happened.
Remind your friend of a moment from the past to gently express your concerns. For example, bring up a time when she stood up for herself and how proud you were of her growth. Encourage her to reflect on how much strength she’s gained since then and whether this relationship supports the person she’s become. It’s a kind way to help her think things through without making her feel judged or criticized.
Use perspective talking.
Help your friend see things from a different perspective by asking how she would feel if the roles were reversed. For instance, ask what advice she’d give if you were in a similar situation with someone who treated you the same way. This approach encourages her to think deeply about her own choices without feeling pressured, keeping the conversation supportive and reflective.