I Refused to Prepare My Husband’s Lunch and Now He Thinks I’m a Horrible Wife

Being a stay-at-home mom is hard work. Plus, when the husband and father don’t turn up to split the chores, it makes everything even harder. Recently, we received a letter from one of our readers feeling guilty for not preparing her husband’s lunch. His reaction surprised her.

She shared her story.

We appreciate your trust in us. Here are some thoughts that might help you in this situation.

• Initiate a calm and respectful conversation with your husband about your concerns. Explain how busy you are taking care of three kids and managing household responsibilities. Share your perspective and feelings regarding cooking lunch every morning.

• Suggest finding a compromise that suits both of your needs. For example, you could cook lunch for him a few times a week and prepare something fresh on the days you agree upon. On other days, he could consider eating leftovers or making his own lunch.

• Explore meal planning and preparation strategies that can make your mornings easier. You can prepare some components of his lunch in advance or cook larger dinner portions, so there are more leftovers to choose from.

• Discuss alternatives, such as him learning to cook simple meals for himself or exploring lunch options like ordering takeout or using meal delivery services on some days.

• Depending on their age, involve your kids in meal preparation. This can be a great opportunity for them to learn about cooking and take some of the load off your shoulders.

• If you’re finding it challenging to reach an agreement or if there are underlying issues causing tension, consider seeking the help of a marriage counselor or therapist to facilitate productive discussions and resolutions.

As a husband and wife, splitting the household chores equally is mandatory. In fact, an uneven division of housework is one of the main reasons couples get divorced. Consider adopting a weekly planning approach, and remember that outsourcing tasks can be a helpful option at times.