I Was Shamed for Wearing a Crop Top at a Library but I Still Think I Looked Cute

Hilary Filipowicz, a 38-year-old stay-at-home mom, found herself unexpectedly pushed into the spotlight after a routine trip to the library turned into a lesson on societal expectations and body shaming.

A visit to the library turned sour.

In a now-viral TikTok video, Filipowicz remembered her experience of being «chastised» for her outfit choice during a children’s story time at her local library. What started as a simple outing with her 3-year-old and 1-year-old daughters quickly turned into a moment of embarrassment and reflection.

Filipowicz described her excitement at finally fitting into a pair of high-waisted jeans from her «cool-girl, New York City era,» paired with a basic tee and a long-sleeved cardigan. However, her confidence was short-lived when a librarian approached her with a judgmental tone, questioning whether she was a mom or a babysitter and then remarking, «You should know better,» about her outfit.

A glimpse of skin was the problem.

The reason for the librarian’s disapproval? A slight glimpse of Filipowicz’s belly when she lifted her 1-year-old daughter, causing her sweater to go up. This minor exposure was deemed inappropriate for a woman nearing 40, according to the librarian.

Filipowicz’s TikTok video struck a chord with viewers, gaining over one million views and sparking a conversation about body confidence, societal standards, and the policing of women’s clothing choices. Despite her frustration with the situation, Filipowicz made it clear that her intention wasn’t to shame the library or its staff but rather to shed light on the unrealistic expectations placed on women, especially mothers.

The reason why she published the video.

Filipowicz shared her story as a sort of «temperature check,» expressing her uncertainty about whether her outfit was still socially acceptable. Her experience at the library left her questioning whether she could confidently wear the clothes she felt comfortable in, without fear of judgment or criticism.

At the same time, she maintained her commitment to ensuring the comfort of those around her, especially her children, highlighting the physical demands of motherhood. In the chaos of parenting, she explains, thoughts about her appearance or the movement of her clothes are far from her mind.

The situation led to knowledge.

As a frequent visitor to the library with her children, Filipowicz emphasized her love for libraries and the importance of free activities for families. However, she highlighted the irony of being shamed for her attire in a space she regularly frequented with her children. «Pardon me while I continue to wear cropped tops with high-waisted pants,» the caption of the video says.

More than just a viral moment, Filipowicz’s experience prompted her to have conversations about body confidence with her daughters. She stressed the importance of teaching them that their worth is not determined by their appearance and encouraged them to prioritize comfort and happiness over societal expectations.

In a society where women’s bodies are often scrutinized and policed, Filipowicz’s story serves as a reminder of the importance of self-acceptance and challenging narrow beauty standards. By sharing her experience, she hopes to empower others to embrace their bodies and reject the notion that they must conform to unrealistic ideals.