My Mother-in-Law Ruined My Birth Plan and I Can’t Forgive Her
Having a good relationship with your mother-in-law can be challenging, but also rewarding. However, sometimes things can go wrong and cause a lot of hurt and resentment. A Reddit user shared a story of how her mother-in-law shocked her with her actions and how she still can’t find the power to forgive her.
Here is how it all started, “For the past 3 months, it’s been a very well-known plan that when I went into labor, my husband was going to drive me to the hospital and my mother-in-law was going to pick up my mother, my kids and my grandmother (all from one house). BOTH my MIL and my mom were supposed to be in the delivery room. My gram was to watch my two kids in the waiting room. Everyone was in agreement with the plan.
Now, my husband and I have 2 sons already and for both births, my mother was present. She helped me through so much of the mental anguish and panic. I needed her to be with me with this baby too; mentally. So we worked this plan out months in advance and everyone was on the same page.”
“However, I go into labor...we make the phone calls to MIL and my mom. Telling my mom to be ready and my MIL to go get my mother. An hour and 15 minutes later, MIL shows up at the hospital without my mom, my kids or my grandmother.
She said ‘Well, it’s late so we need to just let everyone sleep’ (it was 9:30pm) and then sat down on the chair in the delivery room and jumped on her phone. I told her in a pissed-off tone to go get my mom, that was the plan, I needed my mom, etc. and she just wouldn’t. At one point she said that she didn’t feel up to driving that much (my mom lives 20 minutes from her house).
So, I told her to get out of the room and that she was dead to me. The amount of resentment and disgust that I felt toward her at this moment is honestly not something I feel I will overcome any time soon. She was pissed, saying that my mom got to experience 2 births already and how she didn’t do anything wrong and she was ‘just being respectful of people’s sleep’ and where she wasn’t leaving, she was actually escorted out.”
“Now, my mom was able to make it to the hospital literally just as I was giving birth. My kids and my grandmother weren’t able to make it, which bothers me a great deal (we promised our kids they would be the first to meet their sister, outside of us and grammie).
I cannot forgive my MIL for this at all. I honestly feel like I hate her with every fiber of my being. But I’m being told I’m taking this too far and that it wasn’t that big of a deal.”
The story caused quite a stir and here are some of the comments people left:
- This is evidence that the MIL can never be trusted in any capacity. She will not follow any rules the OP lays down, even if she verbally agreed to them in advance. OP should continue not talking to her but should also never leave her children alone with MIL. SHE LITERALLY CAN’T BE TRUSTED. theloveburts / Reddit
- Being in labor and giving birth was THE most vulnerable time in my entire life. Hands down. I was so scared, and in so much pain, and needed people to be there for me. To have someone not support you during it is INCREDIBLY violating and absolutely worthy of no contact. its_all_one_electron / Reddit
- I am not a professional but it seems like your MIL did it on purpose so she could be the only one there for the delivery. Darksponge72 / Reddit