16 Unethical but Really Effective Tips From the True Kings of Cynicism

Have you ever experienced a dilemma when trying to choose between 2 options, one of which is morally good, but the other of which is always more effective? Some internet users made their choice a long time ago and now they’re sharing their cynical tips for various spheres of life with everyone.

• You can’t afford to buy a car, but your parents refuse to help you? Tell them you’re going to buy a motorcycle because you don’t have enough money for a car.
• Has someone pissed you off? A good idea when dealing with this is to say something to this person in private, but make them believe that everyone around is a witness to it. Put a post on Facebook, but choose “Only me” in the privacy settings and tag your target in your post. This post will be seen only by this person and you, but they will think that everyone can see it.
• If you want to call in sick and need a note from the doctor, you can often triple the duration of the timing on your note by telling the doctor that you’re working in the food industry.

• Try to trick your kid on the internet into giving you their money. If it works, it will teach your kid a lesson about safe online behavior and you’ll get a payment for your teaching job.
• If someone calls you fat, tell them that you’ve just lost 60 pounds. As a result, everyone will think this person is a jerk and that you are slimmer.
• Are you looking for friends? Create a fake account of a person of the opposite sex on Tinder. Then arrange a date with a few people in the same place, at the same time. When you all understand that you’ve been duped, you can all go out and have a drink together.
• Recently got a new job? Despite whatever your actual reality is, all of your grandmothers and grandfathers are alive.

• If your relative or friend doesn’t know how to use a computer and they ask you to have a look at it because it’s too slow, just double the speed of their cursor. They’ll immediately see the difference and will be really thankful to you.
• Send your wedding invitations to all the millionaires whose addresses you can find. Their assistant might send you presents without realizing who you really are and where their boss knows you from.
• Do you have a hard time keeping your little ones busy? Hide 4 pieces of candy in your home, but tell them that you’ve hidden 5.

• If your girlfriend talks too much just hug her and say that you’d like to hear her heartbeat. You’ll get your silence and will pass for a romantic.
• If you’re looking for help online, use a female name or user pic. You’ll significantly increase your chances of getting help.
• If you have a favorite restaurant, tag it in Google as a place that’s not good for children. This way, you’ll avoid noisy children during your meals there.
• Use Tinder again! If your roommate doesn’t like to clean your shared space, create a fake Tinder account and agree to meet them at your house. Once your roommate cleans up the mess, you can cancel the date.

• When going for an interview, get 2 or 3 of your friends to sign up for it too and tell them to give the stupidest interview ever. Then, your chances of getting the job will be way higher.
• Are you going on a date? Tell your date in advance that you have a very tight schedule. If everything goes fine, you can pretend that you’ve rescheduled all your important meetings and the person will be flattered. But if the date goes wrong, you’ll have the perfect excuse to leave.

Many of these tips might seem ingenious to you, but don’t forget that you could become the victim of them too. So, if your dates are often cancelled, there’s a chance that you might be pretty messy. Has anything similar to these situations ever happened to you?