20 Neighbors Who Made Us Think About Moving To The Moon

If you think your neighbor who drills the wall at 7 a.m. on Sundays is unbearable, wait until you read these stories. There are people who make social life an extreme sport, who act like they own the neighborhood, and who manage to drive even the most patient person crazy. After reading this, you may find yourself looking at your annoying neighbor with a little more affection...or at least resignation.

“Our neighbor, a.k.a. ‘Crazy Bleach Lady,’ who has become increasingly erratic, sprinkled this on our lawn today — what is it?”

• When I was growing up, my neighbor had a death in the family. On the day of the funeral, the neighbor came to the door and asked my father if he could borrow a tie. My dad agrees and gives him a nice black silk tie, appropriate for the occasion. We show up at the funeral and see the neighbor, strangely not wearing the tie he borrowed. Suddenly we look at the casket and my father’s tie is being worn by the corpse. Not wanting to be rude, nothing is said and the tie is buried with the body, never to be seen again. @timobrien93 / Reddit
• An old lady lived alone across the street with two German shepherds. I was outside one day, as was she, when she called her dogs over. She said something and then pointed at me. The dogs came running after me and I crawled inside. She started laughing and I started crying because I was scared. But it was the owner’s fault, not the dog’s. @kurb43 / Reddit
• The retired woman on my street follows the garbage truck and moves the garbage cans off the street while the rest of us are at work (because they are an eyesore). This would be fine except she would leave them in the middle of the driveway and there is no stop on our street during rush hour (bus route) so you either have to park a block away to move the can then go get the car or risk getting a ticket while moving it. Since the houses are pretty close together, we figured it out the first time by turning and hitting the trash can because it was just far enough back that you couldn’t see it until you turned. @GrumpyKitten1 / Reddit

“My neighbors have been here for a month. Today was the first time I actually read their welcome sign.”

• One day, a strong smell of burning came from outside our house, and suddenly everything was filled with smoke. We looked for the cause, but found nothing, so we called the fire department. It turned out that it was not a fire or anything like that, but our neighbors downstairs had put a charcoal grill in their stove so they could have a barbecue inside. My only relief was that a friend had taken my dog for a walk earlier in the day, so I know he wasn’t in an apartment full of smoke all afternoon. @Faeriebee99 / Reddit
• There was an old lady in the apartment next to me who was banging insistently on her side of the wall separating us. I was quite disturbed and scared for about a week, and when I finally met her outside my door and asked her about it, she told me that she had been trying to have a conversation through Morse code. @TheSleezyE / Reddit
• My neighbor across the hall is married with two kids and he is so weird. Anyway, I leave my sandals out by my door every night (no shoes in the house). It so happens that one night I had to meet my best friend who came over to the front door in the middle of the night because she doesn’t know my place very well. And when I open the door, I catch the guy caressing and smelling my sandals. I freeze and freak out slightly. He saw me staring, did a weird geisha giggle and said something about his kids calling him and then pulled me into this weird side hug. Now I leave my shoes in a box in my house. @MsAt**icBo**97 / Reddit

“Well, this is embarrassing...”

• My parents’ neighbor owns a landscaping company, so he has a dump truck. His house is further back from the road than theirs, so his driveway, which is right at the property line, runs past their house and next to their backyard. My dad noticed the neighbor turning the dump truck around in my parents’ yard when the ground was very soft from a recent rain. He went back and sure enough, there were huge ruts in my parents’ yard. When my father confronted the neighbor about using his backyard to turn around, he replied, “I’m sorry, but if I had turned it around in my yard, it would have left ruts in my lawn.” So he knew it would leave ruts, didn’t want it in his yard, and left it in my parents’ yard instead. @livecaterpillarflesh / Reddit
• My neighbor is always sitting in his car in his driveway. The car is not running, he just sits there, sometimes fiddling with his phone. The weird thing is that he does it at all hours of the day. 7am — sitting. 5 pm — sitting, 2 am — sitting. Just drive, man. He does it for 16/24 hours, every day. @charles2good / Reddit
• I live on the bottom floor of a dorm with balconies. Because I’m on the first floor, I don’t have one, just a big window that I can’t open, and I can’t get to the area outside because there are a bunch of prickly bushes that separate us from the sidewalk. The thing is, my upstairs neighbor throws his leftover food off his balcony. I’m the only one who sees it because of the bushes, and I can’t do anything about it because I can’t get into the area to clean it up. I’m dying inside. @pointdecroixnerd / Reddit

“The neighborhood drama is very messy this weekend.”

• Our neighbor down the hill had a wide view of our beautiful lower yard. He also had a barking dog that stayed in his yard all the time. One day the animal tore down our fence trying to get out and reach our dog, so we had to build a new solid wood fence. But then the neighbor came to complain because now he could not see our yard and that meant we could spy on him from ours. Yeah, well, whatever. But it got worse. The very cheeky man built a raised roof so he could see beyond the fence, so we decided to plant a row of bamboo. He called the building department to report our fence, but they said it was legal and cited him for his illegal platform. We haven’t seen him since. @Aromadegym / Reddit
• A neighbor in Florida was a known kleptomaniac, but he stole the most random things in the neighborhood. When someone moved out of a house, he would dig up the patio plants and sell them online. We would just wake up one morning and all the plants were gone, along with the dirt path leading to his house. The strangest thing happened when his house was repossessed: the subject stole all the doors off their hinges before moving. Stole another neighbor’s bicycle when he left the garage door open. The owner knew he was the thief, so he went to his house and took it away without calling the police. We also found out later that he was going through a nasty divorce from his wife...who used to be his therapist. @ArtbyTMD / Reddit
• I used to have this hateful neighbor who kept inviting herself over. My dad had a trusting relationship with her, so he told her where we kept a spare key in case of an emergency. But we went in a couple of times after we left and found notes from her on the counter saying she’d stopped to chat but we weren’t there, which meant that she had used the spare key, entered our house while we were not there, probably poked around, and then left a note. My dad told her she shouldn’t go in when we weren’t there, and she apologized. But she clearly ignored it, because the next day there were brownies on the counter with a note saying “I’m sorry.” The last straw was when my dad left the house one day and I was taking a shower. When I came out in a towel and ran to the laundry room, there was an unknown woman sitting on the couch. After getting scared, I found out that she was a Jehovah’s Witness and had been let in by my neighbor, who had apparently been snooping around while I was in the shower. My dad came home that day and changed all the locks and told her never to come back. We also ignored her every time she called. She hated us after that and apparently thought all her actions were perfectly normal. @Notfunliketheysaid / Reddit

“This is my neighbor’s yard and they refuse to clean it.”

• Every day when I came home from work, my upstairs neighbor would turn on his stereo at full blast a few minutes after I entered my apartment. I couldn’t hear my TV or radio over the sound of his stereo. Since it only got loud a few minutes after I entered my apartment, I suspected he was doing it just to annoy me. So I decided to try an experiment. When I made my lunch one morning, I also made a sandwich for dinner and filled a pitcher with water so I wouldn’t have to turn on my water when I got home. Before leaving work, I used the bathroom so I wouldn’t have to flush when I got home. I parked my car a few blocks away from my apartment and walked around the block so I wouldn’t walk past any of his windows. I put my key in the lock very slowly and carefully, opened and closed the door very quietly, and sat down on my couch to read a book and eat my sandwich. Eventually I had to go to the bathroom again, and a minute after I flushed the toilet, the stereo went on full blast. A lawyer helped me write a letter to the landlord to get out of the lease and not lose my security deposit, and I soon moved. I later found out from a co-worker who had lived in that apartment building that the stereo guy did this to other tenants as well. He was a friend of the apartment owner, and the owner made a lot of money getting rid of tenants before their leases were up, keeping their deposits, and going after them for "lost rent. @SagebrushID / Reddit
• When I started my first job out of college, I was thrilled to be living on my own for the first time in my life. I had this beautiful 1-bedroom apartment in a solid part of town. Everything was great until 6 months later when new tenants moved in next to my unit. I had a package that went missing (a phone case). Amazon had posted a photo of it on my door, so I thought it was just a coincidence. Then it happened again, and again, and again. The office wouldn’t accept packages, so I had to have them delivered to friends instead. All in all, it was very inconvenient, and the police didn’t care one bit when I reported it, so I just figured I’d deal with it. Fast forward a few weeks, and I come home after being gone for less than an hour to find my doorknob and front door shredded and the knob barely hanging on. Long story short, I had parked in front of this guy’s window so he could see when I was home. I am 100% convinced that he was trying to break into my house and that my coming home early interrupted him. @Ladyringo / Reddit
• We had a neighbor whose kid would go into people’s houses and eat their food and go through their house. I’d come home and find him in my room. My other neighbor said they would come home from a movie and find him in the pantry eating and spilling everything. And the worst part is that every time we’d chase him out, his parents would come and complain to US! @ReadAlex / Reddit

If after this you feel that your neighbors are not so terrible, then mission accomplished. But if you are still convinced that you live among characters from a horror comedy, we have more stories for you. You can read this article here and see that there is always someone who has it worse.