A Mom Caught Mother-In-Law Breastfeeding Her Baby

Becoming a parent can bring about significant changes in a couple’s life. One of the possible changes could involve altering relationships with relatives. While the arrival of a child can strengthen familial bonds for some, it can also lead to ongoing conflicts for others.

One of our readers from Bright Side shared her experience, which has dramatically impacted her relationship with her mother-in-law. She reached out to us seeking advice on how to resolve their issues. Here is her message.

Hi Amy! Thank you for sharing your story with us. We at Bright Side will try our best to help you in this difficult situation. Perhaps our readers who are in the same boat will also find something to say.

• Determine what kind of relationship you want to have with your MIL. Do you want her to continue babysitting? Do you think she should spend time with your son only under your control? This will help you understand the trajectory of your relationship in the long term and set rules and boundaries that will support your strategy.
• Communication is key, especially in your situation. It’s important to talk about the irrelevance of your mother-in-law’s actions. Talk a heart-to-heart with her, try to figure out why she decided to soothe" the baby that way. Make sure your MIL understands that you appreciate her help with babysitting, but her actions not only violate the privacy of the child and your family but also do no good for the child.

• Build healthy boundaries with your MIL. It is very important if you want to have a good relationship with her in the future. Explain to Camila that she needs to respect the boundaries of your baby and such intimacy as breastfeeding responsibility lies with the mother.
• Convince your husband to talk with his mother. Since it is your child together, it is essential to represent his interests together as parents. And since it is a highly touchy topic, your mother-in-law may be more open or willing to listen to her own son.
• Going to family therapy with your MIL could also help. It may be easier for both of you to discuss issues and boundaries with the help of a professional.

Amy, we hope this advice will be helpful to you and that everything will work out for you and your family. At the end of the day, it’s up to you and your husband to decide what’s best for your own family.

Our other reader, Kate, has a similar problem when her mother-in-law was trying to be her baby’s mother and exert control over Kate.