I Refuse to Follow Unfair Dress Code Rules at Work, and HR Blew Up

Some workplaces still treat employees unfairly: tiny things are blown out of proportion while bigger rule-breaking gets ignored. That’s exactly what happened to Jessica, 30, who got reported and even penalized for wearing sneakers. But the reason behind it will leave you speechless.

Here’s an email we received from Jessica and her story:

“Hi, Bright Side,

So, I need some outside perspective on this because it’s driving me nuts.

A couple weeks ago, HR called me in and told me I was getting a penalty for wearing sneakers to the office. I was honestly stunned, because we don’t have a super strict dress code and plenty of women wear mini skirts, sometimes spaghetti strap tops, even flip-flops in the summer, and nobody bats an eye.

But apparently, sneakers were suddenly the big crime of the day. I pushed back and said it felt unfair, but HR just shrugged and said, ‘Your manager reported it.’ That’s when it clicked: it wasn’t even HR’s idea.

I confronted my manager later and asked why she singled me out when others clearly bend the rules more than I do. She just smirked and said, ‘You remind me too much of someone I hate.’

Like... what? That’s her justification? I don’t even know what to do with that. I’m floored that a personal grudge is literally affecting my record at work.

Has anyone else dealt with this kind of petty nonsense from a manager? Do I go to HR again, escalate higher, or just swallow it and start job hunting?”

Here’s what our readers think about Jessica’s workplace scandal:

• DataCr0w_91
  “That’s really unprofessional from your manager. If HR knows she admitted that to you, it could be considered harassment or retaliation. I’d document everything and send an email to HR about the exact words she used.”
• SunnySide!Eggs
  “Wow, this happened to me once but over nail polish. My boss told HR I was ‘unprofessional’ because I wore bright colors, while another girl wore neon pink every day with no issues. It’s so frustrating when managers just pick someone to target.”
• tommy_07
  “Honestly, Jessica, I’d start job hunting. A manager who admits to personal bias won’t stop at just one write-up. That’s usually a sign of more to come.”

• MidnightReader33
  “I feel like people underestimate how damaging these tiny power plays can be. I had a supervisor who constantly picked on me for being ‘too casual’ even when I followed dress code. Eventually I realized he was just looking for ways to assert control. It’s not about sneakers at all, it’s about her wanting to have power over you.”
• Leaf&Stone
  “I’d go back to HR and repeat exactly what she said. Write it down word for word. If they brush you off, you’ll at least have a record if things escalate. Don’t let them spin it as a misunderstanding.”
• zeroG_Kev
  “Not to play devil’s advocate, but HR can’t really stop your manager from disliking you. Even if you complain, she’ll probably just find another reason. If you can, lie low until you secure another position.”

• LunaSpark_14
  “This reminds me of my first job. My boss hated that I brought tea in a travel mug instead of using the office cups. He actually gave me a warning for it. Looking back, it was so ridiculous, but at the time I felt so powerless. Hang in there, you’re not alone.”
• 3rdWaveWatcher
  “It might help to ask HR to clarify what the actual dress code says. If sneakers aren’t explicitly banned, then your manager is enforcing her own rules, which HR shouldn’t support. Get it in writing.”
• binary-f0x
  “That’s rough. It says a lot about her character that she couldn’t even make up a professional excuse. Just ‘you remind me of someone I hate.’ I’d document and detach—treat it as her problem, not yours. Keep receipts.”

Bright Side has a piece of advice for Jessica and other readers who are experiencing the same unfair treatment at workplace:

Dear Jessica,

Thank you for sharing your story with us and trusting our editorial. From what you’ve described, your manager’s comment shows the issue isn’t really about sneakers, but about personal bias. That can feel unfair and even destabilizing at work. Here are a few steps you might consider:

• Document everything. Keep a written record of what was said, when, and by whom. Exact wording matters.
• Clarify the rules. Ask HR for the dress code in writing. If sneakers aren’t clearly prohibited, you’ll have a stronger case.
• Address respectfully. If you feel safe, let your manager know you’d prefer professional feedback focused on performance, not personal feelings.
• Think long-term. If the environment stays biased, consider whether it’s the right place for your growth and peace of mind.

Sometimes it’s less about “winning” the situation and more about protecting your own dignity and options.

Warmly,
Bright Side Team

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