I Refused to Take Care of My Ex-Husband’s Son During an Emergency

Cheating is one of the leading causes of divorce, and it can cause life-long issues with trust in future relationships. Because of this, it is understandable that someone severs all links with their unfaithful ex-partner. After years of no-contact, a woman was shocked to see her ex-husband on her doorstep. And his request surprised her even more, putting her in an uncomfortable situation.

A woman was put in a difficult position by her ex.

I (32f) have been married to my ex “Dan” (35m) for 6 years before we divorced at the end of 2020 due to him cheating with “Kate”.

Kate and Dan have a son who is 3, and he was conceived and born while Dan was married to me. After the divorce, Dan moved out from my house, and we haven’t spoken since.

Last week, Dan suddenly dropped his son at my house without giving me any warning or explanation. He only mumbled that Kate was giving birth to their second child and needs him in the delivery room due to complications. He left before I could protest, and I have tried texting and calling him multiple times and have received no reply. I do not know why he thought it is a good idea, as I had plans, and they definitely don’t involve someone else’s child.

I ended up calling the police and have told them what happened, explained it is not my child and I haven’t agreed to look after him and his dad is not responding. They took the child and I haven’t heard anything until very early hours of the same day when my ex called me calling me saying the cops found them in the hospital and basically forced him out of the delivery room so he can look after his child, so he missed the birth of his second. And Kate had some complications, so she is in intensive care.

He also started shouting, saying that his and Kate’s parents are living at the opposite ends of the country and have medical conditions which mean they can’t look after his son. I have told him that he should have used his brain cells and thought about it in advance instead of dumping the product of his affair at my house, knowing that me and him are not civil, but he insulted me again.

I have mentioned this to some of my family and friends and while some people are on my side, others agree with my ex, saying I should have looked after the kid and shouldn’t have called the cops.

The poster offered more info in the comments.

• “I had plans made for that day, which I couldn’t cancel. Moreover, I am fostering some animals and not all of them that are in my care do well with small children.” Major-Table-3158 / Reddit
• “I have blocked my ex-husband, but had to unblock his number temporarily when he dropped off his son. I don’t care much about what he says, but was a bit surprised to hear some of my own family members saying I should have spent the time babysitting the kid, since the kid is innocent and to be a good human being.” Major-Table-3158 / Reddit
• “I did not know the child, nor I have ever met him before. I knew my ex had a son, that’s all. I had no idea they were expecting the other one until my ex dropped his son, as I don’t follow him on any social media.” Major-Table-3158 / Reddit

Redditors took the woman’s side, although they expressed sympathy for the child.

• “I mean, I do feel for that poor kid, being dropped off at a total stranger’s house, who then calls the police and the police take him to his dad and his dad is stressed and furious. That must have been a hellishly traumatizing night for him. But you didn’t decide to traumatize the boy like that: his dad did.
  Of course, his dad should have figured out ahead of time what the plan was for looking after a three-year-old if his mom had to go to the hospital. Of course, the plan should not have included ’dump boy on ex with no notice.’” Enough-Process9773 / Reddit
• “The cheating ex isn’t the only one at fault. Good old Kate, the AP, was involved, too. What to do with the child should have (and likely was) part of the birthing plan. They had a good 8 months to figure this out.
  Don’t either of these mental giants have friends? Their best option was to drop the boy off at a stranger’s home, expecting the stranger to just accept the situation. It’s not like the child was put into the foster system. They just returned him to the responsible (cough, cough) party.” blondeheartedgoddess / Reddit

• “There is the novel concept called ’paid babysitters.’ They had months to find one. Insanity.” nolamom0811 / Reddit
• “My daughter was born earlier this year at a time when both my husband, and I’s family were at opposite ends of the country. We put more advanced planning and preparation into making sure we’d have someone to watch our dog than this guy did for his child. I really feel for the little boy. His parents had 9 months to find an adequate carer to be on standby for him and didn’t do so.” Canadayawaworth / Reddit
• “It’s not your fault or your problem that your ex and his girlfriend have no friends, and the best person he can think of to call on in an emergency is an ex who hasn’t spoken to him in three years. I imagine he’ll think twice before he does that again.” AfterSevenYears / Reddit

Navigating a relationship with an ex is always tricky. In one of our previous articles, we wrote about a woman who refused to allow her ex-husband’s daughter to spend Christmas with her and her family.