Stepping into the magical lands of Disney World is an unforgettable journey. But for the grandmother of today’s story, it became unforgettable in the wrong ways. Step inside to see what she has to share and how the reaction of her daughter-in-law changed her experience for the worse.
I recently babysat my grandchildren (5 and 4) for a period of four nights and five days so my son and his wife could attend a wedding in Mexico, and spend a few days on vacation. They approached me since her mother would not be available, and I initially said I wasn’t comfortable with that. It seemed like a long time to watch the kids, and she point-blank told me that the woman’s family is more important than the man’s, so I was irritated I was being asked and not her mother. I will admit that I did give in when my son became very emotional, but I felt/feel like they were being manipulative.
While I had the kids, I was invited to a birthday at Epcot and wanted to go. It didn’t even occur to me to run it by my son or daughter-in-law, as I had the kids for an extended period of time, and obviously they knew they would be going where I went. My daughter-in-law had previously mentioned wanting to save up for Disney, but she’s said that about a lot of things, and never made me aware it was something super special to her. Also, it was Epcot. It’s not like I took them to Magic Kingdom, and they had some magical moment of seeing their favorite character.
Your dear daughter-in-law should come to her senses. The world isn't ending because the kids got to go with grandma to Epcot. Whining and howling that SHE didn't have time to take the children to this is not the grandmother's fault. Stop being so childish and throwing a tantrum. The children don't seem to mind going one more time. The daughter-in-law is ridiculous, she should be happy and grateful that her mother-in-law agreed to be a babysitter even though she already had other plans. I think the mother-in-law should stop being a free nanny for her grandchildren, so the daughter-in-law and son can pay for a babysitter instead. Not only are they taking advantage of her and her free time, but trying to decide where she can go or not is just too much.
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When they returned and found out, my daughter-in-law was furious and burst into tears. She said I stole one of her kids first and called me entitled. To be honest, I didn’t react well to being called entitled when she was the one who had previously demanded babysitting. My son asked me to apologize as she was distraught over missing their first Disney trip, but I declined and asked them to leave.
My son reached out again and said I should have asked for something that big, and his wife feels robbed. I know she is a huge Disney person, but it was Epcot, not quintessential Disney, and I don’t feel I should have had to miss out on a birthday party I wanted to attend. I told my son I was not apologizing for anything, and that maybe they should think about how they made me feel when they didn’t respect my initial no.
«They imposed on you to watch their children. You did exactly as they requested. You’ve done nothing wrong. You are not responsible for your rude daughter-in-law crying. Tears don’t make a person right. The only entitled behavior is your son and daughter-in-law. They guilted you into accepting something that you expressed you were not comfortable with, and then got upset about how you took care of their children for them. You shouldn’t have to forgo your plans because they did not secure childcare before going on vacation.» BulbasaurRanch / Reddit
«Your DIL is being selfish. When my kids’ grandparents, on either side, have provided my kids opportunities to experience cool things, I’ve been really grateful that 1) my kids get to do those things and 2) my kids get to make wonderful memories with their grandparents that they will cherish their entire lives.» mobiuscycle / Reddit
«I’m guessing you paid for the kids to go to Epcot and fed and paid for any other excursions during those days?? And all in the name of trying to spend some fun quality time with your grandkids. I know it was probably a lot of work, but you enjoyed it! So instead of a SUPER GINORMOUS thank you for the money you spent and time with the kids, allowing the parents to go away on a vacation without the kids, you’re called entitled and demanded an apology?? Hell to the NO!!» StrawberryKittyKat4 / Reddit
«You could apologize for taking them to (not quite) Disney caused her upset, without apologizing for taking them there. It was a magnanimous gesture to indicate you understand she was hurt. In-laws are a big pain sometimes, especially when you know they’re not mature enough to have an honest conversation. Being the bigger person is sometimes the only productive way forward.» kathryn_sedai / Reddit
«It feels like no one respects each other here. Sit down and have a respectful conversation without throwing unproductive words at each other. Everyone is hurt here, but no one wants to apologize. You CAN all be sorry for hurting someone unintentionally. Act like adults and get some family therapy.» goldmossmoon / Reddit
«I get the importance of ’firsts’ but I think we focus on too many of them. My wife and I had a mini-disagreement about cutting our son’s hair for that reason, and she doesn’t want me to just chop it off so it’s special. Its hair and it’ll grow back. Those kids will love Disney every time they go, they lose nothing each time.» Kenvan19 / Reddit
«I think you should have cleared with them that you could take the kids places, but really otherwise the DIL is being unreasonable. They left the kids with you, and you showed them a good time. What if it had been a water park? Or another kid’s spot? You fed them, you entertained them, they were not neglected or in danger, they were with a grandparent who seems to love them.» joosdeproon / Reddit
«Firstly, if you so desperately did not want to watch your grandkids for less than a week, you didn’t have to accept. Plain and simple. Secondly, Epcot or not, it is Disney. It has rides. It’s a Disney experience. You knew DIL was saving for this trip and whether or not she ends up going through with it, it’s her choice. Every family member knows that the first Disney trips are huge. It’s a staple in a kid’s memory. Even if they are too young to remember it, that mom will always think of their first Disney trip as this. Disney is pretty major in most families.» Emerald-Avocado / Reddit
«As a parent, I would be horrified if my children were taken somewhere like that without my consent, especially when it was communicated that this was special to them. You KNEW.» Aggressive_Bug_6896 / Reddit
In the end, between the laughter and joy that a trip to Disney with the grandkids can bring, there were frustrated parents. With an honest conversation and putting the kids’ happiness in the first place, everything can be put in the past.
