I Will Not Tolerate Humiliation Just Because I’m Not Rich

year ago

Money issues frequently create strain in relationships, particularly when there’s a significant disparity in the financial standing of the partners. This was the case for Darren shortly after his marriage. As a young man with considerably less wealth than his wife’s family, he found himself in a challenging and, to him, deeply embarrassing situation, leading to a strong emotional response. Darren reached out to us seeking guidance.

snigdha halder

week ago

of course you are wrong. just because you married a girl from wealthy background meaning you will be provided the same comfort. you should have ashamed of yourself. at least you cud have bought the ticket for yourself and her in economy. Then of her parent is providing her first class and you in economy, makes sense. If you are in true love you will accept.You seem to have no self respect for yourself. You are enjoying everything on their money and complaining when you were not the first class treatment alone in plane. Whereas you would enjoyed all royal treatment after. Landing

Kathy Kennedy

3 months ago

Sounds like your wife agrees with your Fil that you are gold digging and beneath her in class to boot, this may be just me but I'd say annul the marriage and give the F il the full hand bird. Did this a**hat or your wife give any indication they felt this way before the wedding? This just floors me, usually when a parent pays for a honeymoon it's a gift for the couple, period.

Deirdre McCumber Dunbar

9 months ago

What...you didn't see this coming? You are just a gigalo in her father's eyes. He is paying for you to entertain his daughter. Your choices are to continue being her entertainment and becoming a house husband or not accepting any help from him including your wife. You either make in on your own together or you allow him to run your life- you choose and your wife must choose, too.

Ron Harrell

9 months ago

nope -- you did the right thing here!!!!

Pat C Kinnebrew

11 months ago

This couple is a perfect example of why every couple should get premarital counseling. They may be "in love" but they don't really love each other. The Dad is wrong. The daughter is wrong. The groom was wrong to marry into this situation which should have been obvious early on. They are not suited for each other at this point.

Ilonka Wimmer-Ljungqvist

11 months ago

Unfortunately, you two are not on the same wavelength.
She is used to living luxuriously while you are used to living an ordinary life. This will not be good in the long run. She will always be "daddy's little girl" who gets a lot of money all the time. What will happen the day she gets pregnant and gives birth?
Are they also going to be spoiled children who will probably look down on you when they are old enough to realize that it is grandpa who has the money and not you.
Time to reevaluate your marriage before it goes that far.
Either you ask your new wife to skip all the extravagances from her father or it is separation that applies. Get a wife who is like you when it comes to finances etc. who was not born with a silver spoon in her mouth whose parents value you in a completely different way.

Deirdre McCumber Dunbar

year ago

Your FIL overstepped his position- when he walked her down the aisle he is "giving her away" and entrusting her to another man. At that point she is not part of her fathers tribe anymore but part of the husbands tribe for lack of a better way to say it. Since she is now in another tribe she is supposed to act accordingly. If she did not want to live in poverty then she should have married into another family/tribe.

Thank you for opening up, Darren! Here are a few suggestions that might help you navigate this situation.

Talk openly with your wife.

Have an open and honest conversation with your wife about how her father’s actions and comments affected you. Share why you felt humiliated and explain the importance of being respected as an equal partner. Highlight the value of mutual respect and understanding in your marriage, and express the need for her support in establishing boundaries with her father on financial issues.

Get expert guidance.

Kathryn A Gintz

11 months ago

She doesnt care or she would have insisted on changing tickets. You will alway be a doormat. File for divorce and move on .

Try consulting a marriage counselor or therapist to mediate a conversation between you, your wife, and possibly her father. A neutral party can help ensure everyone’s feelings are considered.
This can help you and your wife create strategies to manage the financial and emotional challenges in your relationship, especially with your differing backgrounds.

Gain financial self-sufficiency.

Collaborate with your wife to create a plan for financial independence. This could involve setting shared financial goals, agreeing on a budget, and finding ways to minimize reliance on her father’s support. By establishing your own financial foundation, you can create a more balanced dynamic in your relationship and lower the chances of future conflicts.

Reassess the relationship dynamics.

Ellis Taylor

3 months ago

He could of offered to pay his Airfare, or offer to contribute in some way that would of show that he has integrity or character, dont just take evweything on a platter and also the father and the daughter started the marriage very bad

Think about whether the current dynamics in your relationship are healthy and sustainable. Consider how your wife’s expectations and her father’s involvement might affect the long term. If things don’t get better, consider how to maintain your self-respect and well-being. This might involve setting clearer boundaries or reevaluating the relationship.

Dan encountered a conflict with his wife over finances. After his in-laws invited him on an all-expenses-paid trip, they asked him to contribute money for a gift, which he declined. This led to escalating issues, prompting him to reach out and share his story with us. Check it out here.