I’m Tired of the Double Standards in My Marriage but My Husband Says I’m Overreacting

Family & kids
8 months ago

The dictionary defines “double standards” as “A rule of good behavior that, unfairly, some people are expected to follow or achieve, but other people are not.” Recently, one woman got online to vent about the double standard she was facing at home. Luckily, people defended her with lightning feedback.

She shared her story online.

A week ago, I asked my daughter (8) to quickly watch her brother (10 months) while I picked up some things from the floor that I had been working on during his nap. She rarely gets asked to watch him as I feel that he is my job, not hers. My hubby came home and saw that she was watching the baby and went off on me about how I was irresponsible, saying that accidents happen quickly and that she wouldn’t know what to do in the event that he choked on something.

These are all reasonable fears, so I made the necessary changes to ensure I was there to watch him at all times.

Today I asked him to watch the baby. I then walked into the room and noticed he was alone watching TV. I asked him where the baby was, and he replied that our daughter was watching him in her bedroom.

Her bedroom is on the opposite side of the house, and with the TV blaring, you could definitely NOT hear what was going on in her room. I reminded him of how he yelled at me last week for the same thing, and he replied, “That was different.” When asked how, he replied, “She wants to look after him. She came to ask me if she could.”

I was so mad. I hadn’t left them alone for prolonged periods of time. I was literally in and out of the room during all of that time as I was cleaning up, but that was neglectful and dangerous because I asked her to watch the baby. At the same time, it is perfectly okay for her to be left, completely alone, rooms away, with the TV on, because she asked to watch him.

And somehow that would mean that she pays closer attention to him? Like accidents don’t happen when you choose to look after a baby? He is now mad at me, saying I am overreacting and that I am still in the wrong while he is not.

And asked for advice

I accept that I was wrong in asking her to watch him, but am I wrong for being mad about the double standards?

People jumped in on her defense:

  • “He’s absolutely in the wrong for being inconsistent when it benefits him.” Illustrious-Shirt569 / Reddit
  • “Take your daughter for a mother-daughter day and leave him with the little one, so he has no choice but to watch him.” New_Honey1641 / Reddit
  • “You didn’t do anything wrong, especially if your baby was left in a baby-safe area. My 9-year-old keeps an eye on my 7-month-old baby while I take a shower or if I need to run outside to check the mail real quick.” CableResponsible1918 / Reddit
  • “He didn’t care about the baby’s safety, he wanted to teach you your place as a woman.” JmanVere / Reddit

It’s safe to say people are tired of double standards between men and women, especially concerning parenthood. Parents must be equally responsible for their kids, parenting together with the same standards and expectations.

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