I’m Using My Savings to Travel the World—My Childfree Daughter Is Furious
When a “childfree” label hides a secret change of heart, the clash with a parent’s hard-earned success and happiness can be devastating. This story from Susanna examines whether a mother should fund a “maybe” that her daughter has spent a decade denying. It’s a raw look at the boundary between supporting your child and finally choosing yourself.
Hey Bright Side,
I worked for decades and managed to save $150K. My original dream was to set it aside for my future grandchildren’s education. However, for over ten years, my daughter has been adamantly, vocally childfree.
We’ve had countless talks about it, and I eventually accepted that I wouldn’t be a grandmother. So, at 68, I decided it was time to live for myself. I started booking the world travels I’d always put off.
The moment she found out, she exploded. She screamed that I was choosing “vacations over her future.” I was completely blindsided until the truth came out: she’s been secretly planning to use that fund to freeze her eggs.
She’s 35 and has started having second thoughts, but because the cycles are $15K each, she just assumed my “grandkid fund” would be her safety net.
She sobbed that by spending this money, I’ve “stolen her future” and her chance to have biological children at 40. She claims she only told everyone she was childfree to avoid social pressure, but always expected that money to be there just in case.
Now, I’m the villain for spending my own savings on my own life.
So, I’m asking you: was I supposed to keep $150K in limbo for a decade based on a “maybe”? Am I being selfish for traveling, or is she unfairly demanding a future I was told would never exist?
Best,
Susanna
It's probably all a bunch of crap. A way to get you to leave her the money instead of using it yourself. I'll bet she made up that story about future embryos because she knew future children were your weak spot and for that reason you might leave the money. I will bet she still doesn't plan to have children.
So the daughter was "planning" to use her mother's savings without discussing anything about it with mom? Entitled much, kiddo?
Just say if she don't have guts to have children now, then she won't have it in future either. Freezing eggs is more like a waste of money and bad reasoning. Also, is that REALLY her own reason ? Might as well says your inheritance strictly only goes for her children, AFTER SHE IS DEAD. Let's see how her attitude change. Note : She will regret raising kid if she get too old also her decision might give weird impression to her children too.
Dear reader, what do you think? Should a parent keep “inheritance” funds liquid just in case a child changes their mind, or is it time for this daughter to take responsibility for her own backup plan? Let us know in the comments.
Comments
Enjoy your hard earned savings and live your travel dream. If your daughter wants to freeze her eggs she needs to save for it just like you saved. Bon voyage! Don't let her guilt trip you.
Send her a POSTCARD, FROM EVERY PLACE YOU VISIT. You don't owe her SQUAT. Don't let her guilt trip you. The money that YOU SAVED, WAS NEVER FOR HER, to begin with. It is WAAAY TOOOO LAAAATE, for her to freeze her eggs. She is not a good candidate for egg retrieval, due to her age. Sorry, but it's true. IF you give up YOUR DREAMS for her LAST MINUTE WHIMS (I don't believe she is really planning on anything), you might as well lay down and die, right now. She is PLAYING YOU. The minute you give her the money, she would find SOME OTHER, MORE IMPORTANT NEED FOR IT. Like a boob job, and you will never get grandkids, anyway. You will ALSO have no money for yourself.
Your daughter made it very clear that she is child free by choice and not once did she tell you it's something she is considering when she is 40. Only now that you are choosing to spend your money on doing something for yourself she has suddenly had a change of heart. She is acting entitled to something that is not hers to begin with she is using the excuse of wanting to use your money to freeze her eggs to guilt you in to not spending your hard earned money that you spent decades saving. Ask her how she was going to use money that isn't hers to freeze her eggs when the money is yours and you are still alive so she doesn't even have it as inheritance. She is going to use excuses to try to emotionally blackmail you in to giving her your money and to not spend anything on yourself.
Do not back down and do not give her anything you deserve to enjoy your retirement and go on as many vacations as you want. You only live once and can't take anything with you when you pass so go nuts and do everything you have ever dreamed of doing but couldn't
What are you TALKING about, Anita? Lots and lots of older people go on vacations and have a wonderful time! My sad and lonely uncle met his second wife on a cruise ship. They lived happily ever after.
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