My Girlfriend’s Kids Keep Wasting Our Food, and I Can’t Take It Anymore

Blending lives requires patience, understanding, and a lot of compromise. In today’s story, day after day, one guy watches perfectly good meals end up in the trash, and it’s reached a point where he simply can’t take it anymore.

We received a letter from John

John, 35, shared his story, which may resonate with many. He began his letter by saying, “Hi Bright Side! I’ve seen many people writing to you for help and clarity, so I decided to be brave and share my story.” He then explained, “I’ve been dating a woman for over three years. She has two kids, whom I adore. However, what bothers me is that we handle money very differently.”

He continued, “She has always struggled financially, which I understand, knowing how tough it must be to be a single mother of two. So, I decided to help by paying for her groceries. From the start of our relationship, I noticed that she lets her kids pick whatever they want. As a result, I’ve often seen food expire in her pantry.”

Mike continues his story, revealing, “Recently, we went to the supermarket, and the kids picked out tons of cookies. When we got back to her place, I noticed cookies in her pantry infested with bugs. I lost it. Once the kids went outside to play, I talked to her about what was happening, but she told me I was overreacting.”

He shared his plans with us, “This used to bother me, but now it’s becoming unbearable because I want to ask her and her kids to move in with me. I can’t have this kind of behavior in our home. I grew up poor, so buying unnecessary food and wasting it is a huge red flag for me. What should I do?”

Here’s what we suggest you to do:

Communicate calmly

• Timing Matters: Select a peaceful moment to discuss your concerns with your girlfriend, preferably when the kids are not present.
• Express with “I” Statements: Share your feelings without sounding accusatory. For instance, say, “I feel upset when food is wasted because I care about our budget and the environment.”

Understand the kids’ perspective

• Open Communication: Depending on their age, have a gentle conversation with the kids about food waste. Explain why it bothers you and emphasize the importance of avoiding waste.
• Listen and Understand: Take the time to listen to them. Understand if there are specific reasons why they might be wasting food. It could be due to not liking certain foods, being served too much, or simply not fully grasping the importance of conservation.

Positive reinforcement

• Reward System: Establish a system where the kids receive rewards for successfully avoiding food waste. Simple rewards like stickers or extra playtime can be effective.
• Praise Efforts: Acknowledge and praise their efforts when they manage their food well and actively reduce waste.

Stay consistent

• Be Patient: Change won’t happen from one day to another. Consistency and patience are crucial.
• Reinforce Rules: Day after day reinforce the importance of the rules and the reasons behind them.

Handling the issue with calm and ease can not only help reduce food waste but also make the relationship with your girlfriend and her kids stronger by showing that you care and are willing to work together.