While in a relationship, we naturally expect our significant other to take our side in any conflict of interests that may arise between us and other people. But sometimes, married life brings us bitter disillusionment, and our partner appears to be a people pleaser, rather than a doting spouse. Such a situation happened to our today’s protagonist, a woman named Audrey, 33. She penned us a heartfelt letter where she described her family situation, which turned out to be so stressful for the woman that she had to apply to a therapist to be able to heal from shock and humiliation she experienced.
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Audrey, 33, is our devoted reader, who decided to share her story with us and our readers in order to find some advice and additional support from people, who might have been in the same situation.
Audrey wrote, “Hi, Bright Side! My husband (38M) and I (33F) met at work 10 years ago. I worked in a company, he was a customer, but after a couple of months, we started dating. I really love my husband, and every single day spent with him feels like another honeymoon for me.”
“We’ve always been respective towards each other. And everything went fine between us, up until recently, when he literally humiliated me in front of many people and made me feel inferior in the presence of his best female friend.”
Audrey wrote, "Both my husband and I have best friends of opposite gender. Our friendships, as well as other social connections, weren't a problem at all. My best friend, Dean, 33, has been my kindred spirit and my soulmate for over 20 years now. He's married and has kids, I know his wife, and I'm in excellent terms with her."
"Whenever I invite Dean to come to our family celebrations, I always invite his wife, too, and our relationships with both Dean and his wife have always been more than cordial. My husband has never been against my friendship, he respects Dean and our warm relationship, so no real problems here. However, there's a huge issue with my husband and his bestie, and up until recently I was very comfortable with their friendship. But I'm not okay with it anymore."
"My husband's best friend, Ellie, is an excellent cook. She often hosts dinners and everyone brings desserts to those dinners. I cooked a special sweet which my spouse adores and brought it
to Ellie's dinner. I spent 2 days cooking it flawlessly, but when it was brought to the table, I noticed with utter disgust that Ellie spoiled my dish, and she did it with the help of my beloved spouse."
Audrey wrote, "I must mention that, unlike Ellie, I'm not a very good cook. In fact, I hate cooking, but I'm definitely talented in many other things. My mom cooks very well, so I called her up and had her teach me properly how to make a specific national sweet, which is my favorite. I asked my friends to taste it, and they said it was great.
My husband ate some and said it was excellent. He mentioned that it was going to become his favorite dessert now, and that he had never known before that I was such a splendid cook. My husband even said that Ellie would die of envy when she tastes my dessert, and this encouraged me even more."
"We came to Ellie's dinner, I greeted her and brought the dish into the kitchen. When it was time to serve dessert, my husband proudly told everyone that I had made it. But when the dish was brought out, I noticed something was off—someone had sprinkled cinnamon powder on top of my dessert. In this recipe, you never add cinnamon. It completely changed the taste, and I felt terrible."
"Even though everyone politely thanked me and said it was delicious, I could tell my disappointment showed on my face. Sensing that something was wrong, my spouse pulled me aside and explained that Ellie had thought the dessert looked 'too white' and added the cinnamon to give it more color.
I was crushed. It felt like all my effort and the joy I had in making the dish had been spoiled. Tears started welling up in my eyes. And I couldn't help but feel hurt and embarrassed, even if nobody else seemed to mind."
Audrey wrote, "My husband defended Ellie, saying that his friends already think I’m immature, and that I shouldn’t make a big deal out of it. He promised we’d talk about it later, but I couldn’t help feeling betrayed. I asked him if Ellie had at least asked his permission before adding the cinnamon. Couldn't he have told her not to mess with my dish?
He shrugged it off, saying he allowed her to spoil my dish. He said he didn’t think it was a big deal and asked me to just drop the topic as we drove home. I felt completely dismissed, and I was too upset to sleep with him in the same bed."
"The next morning, he apologized, saying my tears made him feel like a terrible person. But his words didn’t take away the hurt I was still feeling. It wasn’t just about the dessert; it was about feeling unsupported and like my efforts had been disregarded. Then, my husband said I must go with him to Ellie's house, he said she has something to tell me.
We came and saw that Ellie was crying, and her husband looked really angry with me. My husband asked me to sit down, and then Ellie's husband started in on me—asking how I could make a scandal and embarrass Ellie and my husband. My spouse just sat there, silent, not even looking at me, just shaking his head."
"It felt like I was a kid getting scolded by my parents, with my older sibling looking on, disappointed. That’s exactly how it felt and how it looked. I know it was pretty spineless of me, but Ellie's husband kept going for what felt like forever, and I just sat there, staring at my husband, hoping he’d speak up for me. Eventually, I turned to Ellie and asked why she would alter my dish after specifically asking me to bring my national dish. She said she thought my national food was supposed to be brown."
"At that point, I just felt defeated. All those comments from my friends and others kept ringing in my head—that his friends mattered more to him than I did. He said he didn't think the dessert was a big deal. I told him that if the situation were reversed, I’d never let a friend change something he’d spent 2 days perfecting, something he’d put so much effort into that he’d even asked his mom to help.
He knew how much work I’d put into it, so why let her change it? Why couldn’t he have just asked me first? Now, I'm in therapy and I took the whole situation very close to my heart. What should I do?"
And here’s a story of a woman, whose husband humiliated her right on their wedding day. But he instantly got hit by karma.
