My Husband’s Ex Says It’s My Duty to Teach Her Kids — I’m Not a Free Tutor

Managing a career while handling childcare duties can be tough. Jasmine, who teaches at a university and is a stepmother to two teens, faced a tricky dilemma. Her husband’s former wife requested that she tutor their kids in French after her workday, but Jasmine declined without compensation. Things got more complicated when her husband stepped in, leaving Jasmine overwhelmed and seeking our guidance.

Jasmine’s letter

Hello Jasmine! We appreciate you telling us your story. We’ve come up with four suggestions that could assist you.

Pursue mediation and counseling.

Considering the financial and emotional stress in your relationship, it could be helpful to pursue mediation or couples counseling. An impartial third party can assist in uncovering the core issues, promoting open communication, and finding a fair compromise.

Share how the unexpected use of your savings and the financial ultimatum have affected you. Professional guidance can support both you and your husband in understanding each other’s perspectives and in working towards rebuilding trust.

Set clear boundaries and define roles.

Explicitly define your role and responsibilities within the family. Have an honest discussion with your husband about what you’re ready to take on, and agree on terms for any extra duties, like teaching the children.

Setting boundaries for your personal time and financial contributions is key. Make sure these agreements are documented to prevent any misunderstandings in the future.

Review financial contributions and agreements.

Evaluate your financial agreements with your husband. Given that he used your savings without your approval, it’s crucial to set clear guidelines for financial contributions and spending.

You might want to establish a joint account for shared expenses and maintain separate accounts for personal savings. This approach can help avoid future financial disputes and ensure both partners have clarity and control over their finances.

Think about reassessing the relationship.

Talk with your husband about any unresolved issues that need attention and explore ways to rebuild mutual respect and understanding. If this isn’t possible, reflect on what changes you might need for your own well-being, which could involve seeking individual counseling or reevaluating the future of your relationship.

When it comes to the tension between a mom and a stepmom, Joy is heartbroken because her daughter has begun calling the stepmom “mom” instead of her. The real reason behind this shift is quite unexpected. You can read the complete story here.