“You’re not my dad.” Those words stuck with this stepdad over the years as he did his best to connect with his stepdaughter. While he’s always tried to be there for her, things have never quite felt mutual. Now, faced with yet another request—this time for money—he’s starting to question how much more he can give. What do you think about his decision to finally draw the line?
My wife passed away when my sons were 8 and 4 respectively. Since then, I remarried and my new wife and I have been married for 11 years now. She was married before and had a daughter of her own. Her ex-husband’s alive but isn’t in their life anymore.
When I remarried, my step-daughter was 12. For 11 years I tried to build some bridges. I would drive her to school, and pay for the nicest private schools for her. I tried my best and treated her just like my sons, but she continued to avoid me.
This came to a head when she graduated about 5 years ago. While my eldest son had invited my wife (his stepmom) to his graduation, my stepdaughter refused to invite me. When I asked why, she said “You’re not my dad and I don’t want you in my life”. I was heartbroken, Still I paid for her college (I paid for both of my son’s colleges as well).
A few months back, she informed my wife that she will be getting married. I only found out when my wife told me. What was even more devastating is that she said she would come home to celebrate, and I brought a cake, balloons and so much more. Then, at the last minute, she changed plans. She just told my wife that she should come over to her apartment, without my sons and I. I was shattered.
When I eventually called to congratulate her, she just tried to end the conversation as quickly as she could. The last thing I had asked was maybe the honor to have a father-daughter dance with her, which she had shot down.
I said nothing, but then came the bill and my wife said she needed some money for her wedding. I considered it long and hard, but clearly as she didn’t consider me as her father, I said I would not be paying for her wedding. I told my wife that she had money saved up, it was her choice to use that if she wanted, but I would not be paying for her wedding. She was furious at me. She said she barely had any money saved up and I was being an awful person.
I have received calls from all of my wife’s family telling me that I should pay (mainly her immediate family, like my father-in-law and my brother-in-law). The whole thing has become a mess, it has divided our family but I am still holding my ground. Is this the right decision?
My wife has been an amazing mother to both our boys and our girl. She is loving and doting wife, who runs a phenomenal house. She tried to get her daughter close to me as well, to little consequence. I also do not think that I could be where I am without her.
if she really wanted to, she could do it without my approval. More than half the money is in bank accounts with her name on them. If she does that will be her choice, and even if she told me she was going to, I do not think I will stop her.
I want to also clarify that this is going to be far from a minor financial inconvenience. While, I am sufficiently wealthy, it is still not something that will not go easy on my bank-account. Her wedding is going to have probably around 400-600 people.
Comments supported the man, saying:
With how things are going with the man’s stepdaughter, the commentators have a point. He needs to put his foot down and stand up for himself. Speaking of difficult stepdaughters, check out this family drama with a sweet revenge ending.
Sorry no you've been the caah cow for 11 years, you've fed, clothed, kept her healthy paid her college money, and no doubt Christmas and birthdays, but you mean nothing to her, tell her the ATM is empty, and get the begging bowl out, and if she does not invite you to the wedding, draw a line in the sand, your out, she's a selfish greedy manipulative horrible person and deserves nothing more from you ,
