10 Pros and Cons of Having Men Present at the Birth of Their Child
Even though some men would happily welcome their child and help their partner during delivery, there are some of them who don’t want to be present during childbirth. This raises many questions about the advantages and disadvantages of having them there. That is why it is important to learn more about the things that can happen in both cases.
Today, Bright Side wants to show you some positive and negative sides of a man’s decision to be a part of the big moment. As a bonus, we have several stories from families who went through childbirth together.
Con 1: The pain can be more intense.
Oxytocin, known as the love hormone, is needed for an easier and less painful delivery. That’s why it’s better if men who are not ready, less informed, or afraid of the whole process stay away from it. Their anxiety can add tension to the whole environment and can even lead to a situation in which the adrenaline level of the mother increases and love hormone decreases.
Con 2: He might experience depression.
There are men who start to feel powerless and hopeless after witnessing childbirth. This happens because they can’t do much to help, the staff avoids them, and they get scared for the woman’s life. These feelings aren’t usually expressed and are tucked down deeply in their subconscious. Symptoms of depression may include weight gain/loss, headaches, fatigue, or even isolation from friends and family.
Con 3: It might complicate your love life.
While most men are fine after seeing the birth of their child, there are some who weren’t prepared. That is why some couples’ love lives will suffer. Witnessing childbirth can minimize the feelings the couple has for each other, transforming their relationship into just good friends.
Con 4: The delivery may take longer.
When the mother gets to hold the baby for the first time, she needs to be focused only on the little one. Looking at her child’s eyes for the first time, smelling them, and experiencing skin-to-skin contact will distract her from everything that is happening around her. This will also help her push the placenta out, because the love hormone is essential even after delivering the baby. But if the father is there, he might be the reason for an adrenaline rush and a decrease of the necessary hormones.
Con 5: Some things men do annoy their wives.
Even if men decide that they want to be there for their partner and their child, this can turn into a really bad idea. This is especially true if the labor lasts for more than 12 hours. Some of them start eating in the room, watching videos on their phone, and may even leave during the delivery. Also, they may start feeling sleepy because of the adrenaline rush they had while trying to get to the hospital on time.
Pro 1: He will be present during the first minutes of the baby’s life.
Even if some men are afraid and having second thoughts before the big moment, the unpredictability labor won’t give them a chance to choose. Seeing their loved one in pain and being beside her was all they could think of, and then it turns into this unforgettable moment and gives him a chance to see his baby’s first minutes in this world.
Pro 2: He can help with breastfeeding from the start.
It is not that easy for a new baby to latch right away, but once they do the mother doesn’t want to move so she doesn’t interrupt the baby. Even from the first try in the hospital, the dad can help. He can pass you a drink, add a pillow or 2, burp the infant, and even give you a light massage.
Pro 3: He can give emotional and physical support.
Future fathers should be beside their wives during labor because they can help them feel relaxed and also make them laugh. Even the anxious talk about meeting the baby can help in a roundabout way and significantly improve the labor experience. The new mom will be sleep-deprived and exhausted, probably under medication too, but when her man is there she will be able to relax knowing that the baby is in good hands.
Pro 4: He will be more connected with the child after birth.
In recent times, fathers have become more involved in their child’s lives. Being present during the pregnancy test, check-ups, ultrasounds, and childbirth can have a big impact. This also affects the emotional and cognitive development of the child.
Pro 5: He will be able to make quick decisions.
Sometimes childbirth can go sideways even though labor goes smoothly and without any complications. In that case, you might have to make a decision that is not in your birth plan and he will be there to help you. There are even cases where the husband’s presence saved the wife’s and child’s lives.
Bonus: People shared their stories from the delivery room.
What was your experience? Do you have more reasons for why fathers should or shouldn’t be in the delivery room?