20 Internet Users Shared the Hilarious Things That Their Kids Actually Said Out Loud

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Children often say things and ask questions that surprise us with their originality and elaborate logic. We can’t help but wonder how those little people have such a clear understanding of life. That’s why Alyssa Cowit, an elementary school teacher fascinated by the comments she heard from her students, partnered with her friend, marketing manager Grew Dunbar, and created the Live from Snack Time website to chronicle those gems of wisdom.

We at Bright Side selected 20 phrases that we found on Live from Snack Time, said by children who seem to know everything about life.

I don’t wanna go to school in the morning. I went last time. (Ali, 3 years old @LiveFromSnackTime).
I talk a lot. I don’t know why. I have questions all the time! (Harper, 6 years old @LiveFromSnackTime).
Can you give me a timeout? I want to be alone. (Anonymous, 5 years old @LiveFromSnackTime).
Can I marry someone if they’re older than me? I love older women! (Anonymous, 5 years old @LiveFromSnackTime).
Bears have lots of fur because jackets would look weird on them. (Anonymous, 7 years old @LiveFromSnackTime).

When your heart is broken, it’s like a thunderstorm on the inside. (Joey, 5 years old @LiveFromSnackTime).
(While playing with trucks...) I don’t have the energy for this. (Anonymous, 5 years old @LiveFromSnackTime).
Why can’t it be Monday, Tuesday, Saturday, Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday? (Anonymous, 7 years old @LiveFromSnackTime).
When I turn 5, I’m retiring from soccer. (Walker, 4 years old @LiveFromSnackTime).
Sometimes when I get mad, I go to my room and whisper bad words. (Anonymous, 5 years old @LiveFromSnackTime).

I’m not mad! I’m just hungry and I hate you. (Anonymous, 7 years old @LiveFromSnackTime).
My mother says I should just ignore people I don’t like and well, that’s you. (Noah, 8 years old @LiveFromSnackTime).
Have you been to kindergarten? Because you are acting like you haven’t. (Anonymous, 5 years old @LiveFromSnackTime).
I don’t really want a husband, but I would like help around the house. (Anonymous, 7 years old @LiveFromSnackTime).
If I could go into the future, I would check to see if I have a beard. (Tom, 8 years old @LiveFromSnackTime).

When I put on my hood, it means I don’t want to talk ... Can you help me put on my hood? (Anonymous, 6 years old @LiveFromSnackTime).
My mother is the boss and my dad helps her. (Anonymous, 6 years old @LiveFromSnackTime).
My brother wants to be a marine biologist when he grows up, so I want to be a dolphin, then we’ll be together forever. (Anonymous, 7 years old @LiveFromSnackTime)
I just want to go home, eat an apple, and talk to my mom. (Anonymous, 6 years old @LiveFromSnackTime).
Whenever you cry, I wish I was a spider. Then I would spin you a tissue. (Walter, 6 years old @LiveFromSnackTime).