10 Signs You’re Stuck in a One-Sided Relationship
People tend to end up with a selfish partner because they crave intimacy so much, they’re willing to do all the emotional heavy lifting. Psychologists warn that one-sided relationships take an enormous toll on a person’s emotional and physical health that results from constant stress and anxiety. If your inner voice gives you warning signs, you need to stop and critically assess your relationship.
Bright Side wants to remind you that love is a two-way street, and we have prepared a list of warning signs that your partner is not as invested in the relationship as you are.
1. You always initiate plans for the both of you.
If you don’t text or call them, you can go several days without contact. And even then, all you get back are dry responses that leave you feeling like you’re distracting them from something important. In addition, you plan every date and stress about keeping them entertained, like somehow just being together isn’t good enough. You deserve to be wooed just as much as your partner, don’t forget about your worth.
2. You feel like you don’t really know your partner.
They’ve never opened up about their past or asked you for advice after a difficult day at work. Your conversations are usually very surface-level and feel like the ones you might have with a casual acquaintance. So how do you plan on spending the rest of your life with this person if you don’t know their true character?
3. You’re afraid of being yourself.
Do you often feel like you can’t share problems with your partner and do you always play a role? Most likely you’ve found a middle point in your personality and mood that appeals to them and you stick to it. You don’t feel comfortable being sad or vulnerable around them because they’ll instantly get annoyed and tell you to “get over it.” Remember, they don’t deserve you at your best, if they’re not there for you at your worst.
4. You put their needs above your own.
When you’re together, you only do what they want. They pick the movies, the restaurants, and they don’t care about your interests. With time, you start adopting their personality and telling yourself that whatever they want to do is cool with you. No. If a person truly loves you, they want to support your hobbies and do the things you enjoy without calling it a “compromise.”
5. You’re always making excuses for them.
Do you often find yourself feeling uncomfortable about your partner’s behavior in front of your friends or family? Have you ever said, “Oh, they’re in a bad mood today,” or something along those lines? It’s likely that you see your partner’s true reflection in the eyes of people who are close to you. You think they feel bad for you, so you want to prove them wrong. But why do you feel like that? Try talking to your friends, sometimes an outside opinion can put you on the right track.
6. You constantly feel emotionally drained.
Making plans for the both of you and keeping them entertained is truly exhausting. No wonder you’re stressed, you give so much without getting anything back. You think that maybe if you plan an amazing getaway, or give them a gift they’ve always dreamt about, you’ll finally get something in return. And when it never happens, you feel disappointed and let down. Basically, you’re spreading yourself thin for a partner who wouldn’t even spend 5 minutes on making you feel special.
7. You’re afraid to upset them in any way.
You don’t feel secure about your relationship, and so you continue walking on egg shells around your partner. You don’t want to say something wrong or upset them in any way. Ask yourself, why are holding on so tightly to the thing that makes you anxious? You must feel free to talk about the problems in your relationship in a healthy way. Avoiding them for the sake of your partner is not doing you any good.
8. You feel the need to apologize when you shouldn’t have to.
Do you often feel guilty and not understand why? Your partner might be a master gaslighter and turn every conflict against you. If you’ve ever apologized for getting too emotional around them or taking a load off your mind, then this is not a healthy relationship. Equal partners don’t treat each other that way.
9. You can’t stop second-guessing yourself.
If you’re dating someone who constantly makes you doubt whether you’re smart, pretty, or funny enough, then you’re with the wrong person. You shouldn’t have to live up to your partner’s expectations of you, because if they feel disappointed, that is their problem. You’ll know it’s real love when you find someone who makes you see there was never anything wrong with you.
10. You’re afraid to leave because you’ve already invested so much in them.
You know deep inside that this relationship isn’t right for you, but you don’t want to break up with your partner because you’ve given them so much of your time and effort. Think about it like this, the longer it goes on, the more you’re losing yourself. Don’t think about time with them as “lost” or “wasted,” think about it as a learning opportunity. Next time, you’ll know your worth and find exactly what you need to be happy. You’re only respecting your past self by setting your future self free.
Have you ever given your all in a relationship and gotten nothing back? What became the turning point for you?