20+ Kids Who Can Turn Any Day Into a Comedy Show

They say that with the arrival of children, life becomes different, but definitely not boring! Little geniuses, philosophers, and tireless inventors can at any moment come up with something so crazy that their parents either grab their heads or reach for the phone to record another gem.

And in the bonus section, you’ll find proof that it’s not only children who are full of surprises.

• We are getting our child used to sleeping in his own room. And just when we finally lay down and relaxed, our half-asleep little son walks in. What’s up, need water? The bathroom? Afraid? No!
  With a sleepy yet serious expression, our son came up with a spectacular question: “Why do I need eyebrows?” My husband and I looked at each other, then answered the question, and sent him back to bed. Half an hour later, we had to explain the difference between birthmarks and freckles.
  We didn’t want to curb his thirst for knowledge. So in the morning, we went to the store and bought him a children’s book about the human body. © Mamdarinka / VK

• I’m 3–4 years old. It’s a family celebration, all the relatives are gathered. And then I stand up straight and say, “Dad! Want me to tell how you call Grandma when she’s not with us?!”
  A sharp silence. Everyone tensed up. Dad is as red as a tomato. Without a moment’s hesitation, I blurt out, “Mother-in-law!” Everyone bursts out laughing. © justkhaan5 / Pikabu
• The kids made me a pendant for my birthday. Being a decent mom, I immediately wore this masterpiece. We sat down to eat, and I couldn’t understand why it was so difficult to move the spoon from my mouth back to the plate. I complained out loud, and my husband just laughed, “You’re hungry, so your body is drawn to the spoon.”
  After lunch, I go to put the leftover soup in the fridge, approach the door closely to open it with my elbow, and... my new pendant sticks to the fridge! Seconds of shock for both me and my husband, and then we started to investigate.
  It turned out the kids found a neodymium magnet in my husband’s toolbox: it’s small in size, but very powerful. They decorated the magnet with glitter and made me a pendant. My husband now calls me Mrs. Attraction. © Mamdarinka / VK

• I tripped and fell in front of my 20-month-old (while very pregnant) and said a bad word. Now she says it any time she drops something, trips, can’t close a door. The context is always on point, but we can’t get her to stop saying it now. Wonderful phase. © Unknown author / Reddit
• My daughter (14 months) waves and blows a kiss whenever someone says the word love or good, because since birth her father has left the room at bedtime by waving and blowing a kiss while saying “Goodnight, I love you!” Example from today, we do not know this person: “I love a good steak,” she then waved and blew a kiss at this stranger. © straight_blanchin / Reddit
• One summer, we tried out different ice cream places and rated them out of 5 stars. Just some summer fun. Somehow this carried over into my dinners (I like to try new recipes), and every once in a while they will eat thoughtfully and pop out a rating and a review of my food.
  And dang, they are getting to be good food critics. It is kind of horrifying. So now I average their ratings and enter it into my recipe app. © helsamesaresap / Reddit

• Our toddler loves building with blocks, but inevitably the precarious towers he builds will fall down. Trying to teach him a healthy attitude toward this, we would tell him, “Sometimes that happens!” He adopted this philosophy, and we are happy about that.
  However, when he builds with others, he will knock their towers down while smiling sweetly and spouting a very happy, “Sometimes that happens!” © audhepcat / Reddit
• I went to a country house with friends. When I returned 2 days later, I said to my son, “You didn’t even ask where I was.” He replied, “I didn’t even know you were gone.” © ninelgalkhustova00995 / Instagram
• My 8-year-old asked me what I was doing today while she was at school. And I told her about all the errands I had to run, housework, etc. Then I said, “I was so productive today, I deserve some rest” and she replied with, “Mommy, don’t say it like that. You shouldn’t ‘deserve’ rest, it’s your basic need, like sleep and food. You can rest whenever you like.”
  I was so proud of my parenting in that moment. © nikifir4ik / Reddit

• Visited my sister. Her daughter Alice is 5 years old. We set the table: tea, cake.
  Alice comes up to me with packs of some cookies and candies. She offers the packs one by one, asking, “Do you like these? Yes? How about these?” I nod affirmatively, and her mom proudly smiles.
  After showing everything, the little girl turns around to leave with all her treats. When her mom asks, “Alice, weren’t you going to share with aunt Katy?” my niece replied, “I was just showing what I have. I love all of it too!”
• I was watching a show. My 4-year-old granddaughter ran up with a comb and hairpins, “Grandma, let’s play hair salon!” Well, why not? I let her do my hair while I was watching TV.
  Half an hour later, my son-in-law asks, “Anna, would you like some tea?” And my daughter says, “Mom, just don’t get upset.” It turned out my granddaughter had colored the tips of my hair green. Oh well, I needed a trim anyway.
• When my daughter was 2, almost 3, I sat across from her with 2 small pieces of candy. I said, “If you go pick up your toys in your room, I’ll let you have the candy.”
  My girl looks at the candies (2 mini Snickers she got from trick or treating) and then says, “How about this, Momma? You help me, and then we share the candies, you get one, and I get one and my room is clean and shiny, and we get chocolate. Will that be a deal?”
  I had no comeback, and that’s how I, a grown adult, picked up my kid’s room. I never laughed so hard in my life. © Few-Environment-1597 / Reddit

• My son flooded our bathroom when he was 12. He had wanted to go swimming, I’d said maybe in a few weeks. I went to sleep because I was quite sick — he cleared our bathroom, stole a car tarp, and tried to make an indoor pool.
  It was quite well-made, but when I ran into the bathroom to see why all the furniture was in the hall, I broke the structure and released a tidal wave of water into the hall. I made him help me clean up, but my god it was so funny. I don’t know how he thought he was going to get away with it. © throwaitacousibro / Reddit
• My 4-year-old brought me a plate of play lemons while I was trying to feed my 2-week-old. I wasn’t able to pretend to eat them right away so she came over, pointed at the plate and said, “Just eat your lemons already.” I have never struggled more to keep a straight face while explaining we don’t talk like that. © Capital-Sir / Reddit
• My little sister tearfully asked for “bread with black cats.” By some miracle, after a million questions, we guessed it was poppy seed roll... © archicake_ / Instagram

• My mom has a thing about cleanliness. I’m not like her. Besides, it’s hard with 3 kids. A few times, my mom offered to come over and help with cleaning, but each time she would leave frustrated, saying she’d worked hard and all that. Now I refuse.
  But then an urgent situation happened, and I had to go on errands, with no one to leave my youngest daughter with. Mom came to stay with her for a couple of hours, but it stretched into the evening. I returned and expected the house to be perfectly tidy, but it wasn’t.
  I hinted to Mom that I was surprised. To which she replied that she had already cleaned the apartment thoroughly twice, but the kids mess up immediately, so she gave up. © Mamdarinka / VK
• My husband and I divorced when our daughter was 7 years old. But she adored her dad: she would always cry about seeing him rarely and that he had another family (he found a woman with a child). I even got jealous, especially since the relationship with my ex was strained.
  And then he comes over once, and my Kira says, “Mom, how could you marry him? Dad’s eyes are shameless!” My ex was shocked that his daughter said that. But she still loves her dad.
• We came with the whole family to the country house. Our 3-year-old daughter saw a caterpillar and heard about it being a future butterfly. Half an hour later, Grandma was sighing in the garden.
  The child had gathered about 10 caterpillars and brought them to the strawberries, “They will eat something sweet now, become strong, and turn into butterflies faster. And then I’ll treat them with Grandma’s cabbage.”

• When our daughter turned 2 and a half, she developed a habit of taking things without asking: groceries, clothes from the closet, books, etc. And when I would sternly ask, “Elle, who gave you permission?” my daughter would proudly reply, “Charlie gave permission.” Charlie is our Labrador, Charlotte.
• I work as an English teacher for primary grades. A couple of years ago, my son started attending this school, and he began having classes with me. He wasn’t doing particularly well. I had to give him poor grades.
  At the end of the year, I gave each student an assignment — to write an essay in English. They had to write a few sentences about what they love the most. At home, I noticed my son working hard on it, sitting at the computer every evening, worrying.
  I checked his work, and there it said, “I love Grandma’s food. I love playing ball with Grandpa. I love when Mom hugs me. I love Dad and his English lessons. I’m not good at it yet, but soon I’ll be just like him, and I’ll speak better than anyone!”
  I almost cried! I graded his work to the maximum, closing my eyes to grammar and mistakes for the first time. © Ward No.6 / VK
• My husband had our son convinced he had a fully working raisin factory in our house. As a toddler, our son would line grapes up on the window sill to “make raisins” and after bed my husband would eat the grapes and swap them for raisins. They kept that charade up for a long time! © bmy89 / Reddit

Bonus: who said only children are full of surprises?

• A year and a half ago, our son was born. Since then, my husband has been obsessed with his toys. He buys them in bulk, all for our son.
  There are so many in the apartment that it’s hard to set foot on the floor in the dark without stepping on something. Our son plays with just a few, while the rest seem to be purchased for my husband.
  Yesterday, I bought another box to separate the toys — one for our son’s toys and others for my husband’s. He was upset with me at first, but then he said, “Put the blocks in mine!” Every man remains a child at heart. © Mamdarinka / VK

Which of these children’s antics made you laugh out loud? Perhaps you also have a couple of stories about child logic that boggles the mind? Share them in the comments. We can’t wait to find out what else little dreamers are capable of!

And here are stories about kids who outsmarted their parents’ rules.