20 Wild Client Stories You Have to Read to Believe

Working in customer service is basically a roller coaster of stress, or so they say. One eccentric customer can turn an easy day into a nail-biter, and sometimes you’ll deal with a whole parade of them. Every so often, there’s that one unforgettable customer who stays with you for years. It’s safe to say, if you’re in a people-facing job, “boring” is definitely not in your vocabulary.

• At our store, we have a “code yellow” for missing kids. The whole team drops what they are doing, and we all help. Usually, the child is found within minutes. One case on a slow night, the missing boy, 10, could not be found.
  Parent is frantic and getting more frantic. “Would he have gone to the car on his own?” I offer. Which got me screamed at about he would never, and I’m not taking things seriously. He had gone out to the car on his own. © Whitealroker1 / Reddit
• I work in a fitness club. One trainer had a client who asked her to write everything down in detail on a sheet of paper. The trainer wrote, “Eat porridge for breakfast. Weigh 3 ounces of dry cereal,” and so on. After 3 days, the woman complained to the management that she had a stomach ache from our diet. It turned out that she ate dry oat flakes. People can be really weird sometimes. © Overheard / VK
• Lady comes in with a 10% off coupon and asks me how much it’ll get her off on an $80 antenna. I explain $8 to which she is surprised, and angrily picks the $50 one. While ringing her up, she asks why the antenna is $45 and when I explain how 10% off works again, she replies “I thought you said $8”. © TheNutsFlush21 / Reddit

• Had a lady come in, disgusted at the state of the store (she was on her hands and knees looking under the racking), she left and came back with plastic bags, gloves, a mask, and cooking tongs. She proceeded to start pulling dust bunnies out from under the permanent racking.
  She asked for a broom, to which I politely obliged.
  End of the day (store closing), I walked her out and thanked her for bringing this to our attention. Never saw her again. The manager called me an idiot for letting her go on like that. She wasn’t bugging anyone, and she seemed calmer the more she did this. The whole thing went on for about 3 hours. © SleeplessBlueBird / Reddit
• A customer comes in with a problem with the charging connector on his laptop, the receptionist promises him that we will open the computer, find the problem and call him back. The client says, “It’s too long, I can do it myself. I just don’t have this screwdriver, let the tech open it and look.” The receptionist explains that disassembling a laptop takes time, everything is done on the desktop, and it is unrealistic to do it in front of the client.
  The customer says again, “There are 6 bolts here, I could do it all myself.” I take out a screwdriver and go back to the workshop. The customer decided to take everything apart and fix it himself. As a result, he tore off the keyboard cable, tore off the cable with the power button, broke the connector on the board for the keyboard. And then said that it was all my fault, because I didn’t look at his laptop at once, and because of me he broke everything. © Unknown author / Pikabu
• I’m a vet tech. A lot of people think their dog’s nipples are ticks. A lot. One man even pulled a “but he’s a boy!” on us. © JunkyardForLove / Reddit

• I work at a quick-lube place in town. Once we had a regular couple come, to grease the fittings on their car. I tell the guy who’s working underneath. The guy tells me the car doesn’t have any fittings to grease because they are sealed.
  I tell the customer, and the man angrily says I’m taking advantage of him because he’s handicapped (the customer is blind, and his wife was driving the car). I tell the guy there’s nothing in it for me to lie to him about this, I wasn’t going to charge him anything to do this, but even if I was, he’s not paying anything at all anyway. After about 10 more minutes of arguing, they leave dissatisfied. Fast-forward to a couple of hours later and this big guy walks in saying that his brother-in-law called saying I was trying to take advantage of him.
  I tell him the story, and he tells me that his brother went to another shop, who also told him that he didn’t have anything to grease. I asked him why he was there then, and he said he wanted to make sure I wasn’t taking advantage of the handicapped. I asked him how he thought I was taking advantage of anyone, to which he told me to just not do it and left. © thegreyquincy / Reddit
• I had a funny client lately:
  — Here is a photo of the source document, can you do the work today?
  — Yes, plus 50% to the standard fee.
  — Do I need to pay half in advance?
  — No, you need to pay the standard fee, plus 50% for urgency.
  — Can I pick it up tomorrow? I really need it!
  — Yes, plus 50% of your standard charge.
  — No, I don’t want to pay extra.
  — Then you’ll have to wait a week.
  — Okay, I’ll wait.
  The next day, I get a call early in the morning:
  — So can I pick it up today?
  — Yes, plus 50% to the standard fee.
  — I was told by your supervisor that I can pick it up today at the regular price!
  — I was in the office with her until late at night yesterday, and I know you didn’t talk to her.
  — I won’t be ordering from you anymore because I’m offended!
  The man is 36 years old, he’s offended. © ms.milasha / Pikabu

• I used to work as a taxi call center operator. One day, a woman called us and ordered a taxi to a vet clinic. According to regulations, I was obliged to ask if the dog had a muzzle, bedding and other things. Then we had this dialogue:
  — Are you coming with your pet?
  — Yes, I have a pug.
  — It must wear a muzzle.
  — What muzzle? It’s a pug! It doesn’t even have a face! © Eavesdropping / Ideer
• A woman calls:
  — Hello, how much do your services cost for a full day of shooting on July 20?
  — Hello, this date is available. The cost is this much, it includes....
  — Cake!
  — Excuse me?
  — Well, I want a cake to be included into the photographer’s service.
  — You know, I’m not much of a baker.
  — And you were recommended to me as a professional!
  An awkward pause. Then the woman hangs up. © alexm626 / Pikabu
• We had an employee whose daughter died. We sent her flowers, gave her time off, told her to come back when she was ready, etc. She then came back a few weeks later, working shortened hours with a “support friend” by her side. She soon got fired for letting the “support friend” use the services for free.
  A couple of months later, she came in as a customer and HER DAUGHTER (that had died) WAS SITTING IN THE CAR PLAYING ON AN iPad. We called her out immediately, it was awkward.
  © OwnSpinach5286 / Reddit

• I work in a library. Once I checked out several books to a woman and told her the return date. She looked at her friend, then back at me, and said, shocked, “You mean I have to bring the books back?” © twentyfeettall / Reddit
• “Your programmers are incompetent! They can’t do anything right!”
  — Does the program work?
  — It does.
  — Any errors?
  — No errors.
  — Does the program work exactly as written in the technical task?
  — Yes, but when we wrote it, we had something completely different in mind! © astrobeglec / Pikabu
• A mother and a daughter came into my shop. While the woman was choosing, the daughter was begging for something for herself. To all the questions, the mother answered, “No, it’s expensive. No, put it down, you have this thing already.” The girl asked me in desperation:
  — Do you have anything for free?!
  — No.
  — You should. You have to entice people with free stuff.
  Here it is, the secret of a successful business. © Yasminurlik / Pikabu

• Worked at a pet store and a dude brought in a dead fish and demanded that I, a 17-year-old kid, tell him how his fish died. If that wasn’t funny enough, a bystander rescued me by asking, “don’t you have a fish autopsy kit?!?” It was funny enough to get the dead fish dude to leave me alone. © VonYellow / Reddit
• I’m sitting in the office one day, working. Incoming call. I answer:
  — Good afternoon, I’m listening.
  — Hello, can you tell me the capital of Australia?
  — Excuse me?
  — Well, I received your commercial offer, it says, “Contact me if you have any questions.” I want to know the capital of Australia.
  — Canberra, if I’m not mistaken.
  — Oh great, now can you tell me more about your offer? © IamLie / Pikabu
• I get too many questions to remember them all. Here’s an encounter that happened just yesterday. When sending confidential documentation, we would encrypt it and put a password on it. It’s common practice to send the document and the password in 2 separate emails. I got a message from this guy saying he couldn’t open the document I sent him.
  Me: “Did you use the password?”
  Client: “Yes. It said there was an error.”
  Me: “What password did you use?”
  Client: “I just hit okay, and it said that I had the wrong password.”
  Me: “Wait. So, did you type anything in?”
  Client: “Well, no.”
  Me: “Could you use the password that we provided you?”
  Client: “I didn’t think it would work, so I deleted the email.”
  Me: “...” © DiDalt / Reddit

• Was working at a record store many years ago and training a young girl at the cash register. She was quiet, shy, and very nervous. An older gentleman came up to the counter with a cassette tape that he was very enthused about. In his excitement, as he spoke, his dentures popped out of his mouth, bounced across the counter, and hit this young trainee right in the waist.
  She let out a screech, threw her hands in the air, and jumped backwards about 5 ft. The old gentleman yelled “Aww Thit”... reached across the counter, grabbed his dentures and popped them right back in. The whole event took about 3 seconds. It was hilarious, but this young girl was just shaking like a leaf and in disbelief of what had just happened to her.
  © YELLOW_TOAD / Reddit
• I work in a supermarket. I was laying out eggs, and a guy next to me is choosing his “best dozen.” Suddenly, he drops one brown egg. I, with the speed of a cheetah, run and catch it about 4 inches off the floor. I hand it to the guy with mute reproach. And he yells,, “Harry Potter caught the golden snitch! Gryffindor wins!”
  When I burst out laughing and asked why Gryffindor, he said my uniform was red. He made my day! © Unknown author / Pikabu
• I used to work in a call center for a bank. A customer phoned and said he needed help, urgently.
  The ATM was broken, and he had to withdraw cash. The bank queue was too long, and he didn’t have the time to wait. I asked how I could possibly help him over the phone, and he said, “Why can’t you just fax it [the cash] to me?” © kitjen / Reddit
  

If retail work is tough, parenting is a whole new game, and some kids are born comedians. Here go some of the cutest and funniest things said by children that prove that parenting is a funny, heartwarming ride.