A Girl Sat on My Husband’s Lap and I Freaked Out

2 months ago

In human relationships, moments of discomfort often arise. Such was the case when a seemingly innocent incident sent shockwaves through one woman’s world, shaking her marriage. In this story, we will dive into the labyrinth of emotions, exploring the tangled web of jealousy and insecurity. Was she right to freak out, or was she overreacting?

She shared her side of the story.

My husband (Jake) and I have been married for 3 years and from the beginning he was very close with his best friend’s sister (Cindy) (18f). Well, my husband would often talk about her and tell me how he had seen her grow up throughout the years. Cindy is always very bubbly and seems very fond of Jake as well.

I remember when we were dating she would ask to come along on our dates a lot. I never really said anything as I liked spending time with her as well. She was like a little sister to me. When we announced our engagement she asked my husband to «better not forget her» after being a married man and to still hang out with her.

Well, we got married and I even made her my bridesmaid. Soon we moved to a different state and kind of lost contact. Now Jake’s best friend came to stay with us for some time and Cindy came along as well.

Now the moment she saw us, the first thing she said was how hot my husband has gotten, and she was glad he didn’t look like those boring married men. Then throughout their stay, Cindy would just ignore my presence and would be way too close to Jake. I told Jake that it was looking a bit inappropriate and to ask Cindy to tone it down, but he said that Cindy is just a bit childish and is that way with everybody.

On their last day, we decided to host a dinner party for everybody. During the party, I was with Jake when Cindy came and told me «Oh, I need to steal your husband for a while» and before I could say something she grabbed Jake’s hand and took him to play games. I ignored it since it was their last day, but then throughout the dinner, she was getting way too close to Jake and would just drag him away whenever I would be around while giggling at me.

When everybody sat for dinner, I sat beside Jake and Cindy came last. She then said «Oh, there is no seat» and then just went and sat on my husband’s lap. Everybody was surprised and Jake said laughing «Cindy stop acting like a kid, you are not a kid anymore». Cindy started laughing, saying it was a joke, and got up and sat on the other seat while giggling at me. Yeah, I was so angry with the disrespect, and with the fact that Jake was so cool with it, but I didn’t wanna say anything bad, so I excused myself, took my car, and went out.

About 1hr later, Jake called me asking where I was. I told him I was going to my friend’s house and I would come after Cindy had left. I know what I did was terrible, but I was so angry at that time that if I had stayed there any longer, I would have probably started fighting or crying. I came the next day and Cindy and her family had left.

Jake was very angry and said I took things too far. I started crying and told him how everything made me feel. He said it was horrible to think such things about Cindy, and that she was like his sister.

I told him that I was not doubting his intentions, but I was hurt by how disrespectful Cindy’s behavior was, and he was enabling her by not saying anything. He started saying that I sounded ridiculous and couldn’t even take a joke (referring to the sitting-on-lap incident). I said regardless, I don’t want her in my house again.

To top it off, Cindy sent a message saying that she was sorry about making me so insecure in myself and that she would make sure to make me feel better, but I should not have left as it was pretty childish and kind of spoiled the mood. It felt so backhanded, that I didn’t reply anything to her.

I just told my husband he needs to maintain a distance from Cindy. He asked if I was giving him an ultimatum, I asked if he would go as far as disregarding and disrespecting my feelings for Cindy.

This really rubbed my husband the wrong way, and he said since I have such disgusting thoughts in my mind, and am giving him an ultimatum anyway, then he might as well leave because he cannot leave with such an insecure person who has such disgusting thoughts about him. He packed a bag and left for his mother’s place. I have tried apologizing numerous times, telling him how sorry I was for everything, but he is ignoring my texts and calls.

Later Cindy’s brother texted me and called me a bunch of names to think like that about his sister, saying Jake should just leave me and that a disgusting person like me deserves to be alone. I could not stop crying after that. I don’t know how to fix this. Is there a way to even come back? Was I so wrong to deserve this?

People defended her.

  • «Your only mistake was apologizing to your husband as if his accusations were fair.» Top-Bit85 / Reddit
  • «He is a married man who is letting a young woman sit in his lap and intentionally disrespect his wife. You don’t have a problem with Cindy, you have a problem with your husband. This level of disrespect to one’s spouse is unacceptable.» 777joeb / Reddit
  • «You could maybe pass all of this off as her being stupid and 18. MAYBE she is just wrapped up in her own world, she does not see the impact she is having. I doubt it, but some people are really just that self-involved. However, once she sent that message...it just sealed the deal. She KNOWS what she is doing.» bunbunbunny1925 / Reddit
  • «A little sister? Um, then why didn’t she sit on her brother’s lap? That is weird and it is disrespectful. He is disregarding your feelings. Perhaps counseling before divorce.» Future_External_5134 / Reddit
  • «Her behavior is inappropriate. She’s not just a little girl with a crush anymore, so she needs to be treated accordingly. He’s a married man, and he needs to be shutting down that type of behavior because she’s not going to stop until he does. I understand that he probably still views her as a harmless kid, but your husband should be considering your feelings and boundaries.» CheesyMacSauerkraut / Reddit
  • «Your husband (and everyone else for that matter) is gaslighting you. You have every right to feel the way you do. She is 18, she is not a kid anymore, she knows fully what she’s doing. Maybe your husband doesn’t feel any attraction towards her, but he shouldn’t dismiss your feelings like that.» _tellijo_ / Reddit

She shared an update.

Now my MIL called and asked what was going on as Jake didn’t tell her and only said we had an argument, I was a bit hesitant to tell but eventually told everything. She was furious at my husband. She said they would be coming to have a talk.

So yeah I am just waiting for them to arrive and really nervous. I don’t know if what I did was right or wrong, but we will see. I never questioned his intentions, but what hurt me was the lack of respect from Cindy towards me.

In the end, this is not just a story of jealousy and insecurity, but can later prove the power of communication, empathy, and forgiveness. We hope they embrace the lessons learned and continue their journey together, emerging not only stronger, but also more deeply connected.

Preview photo credit ThrowRA-Eel / Reddit


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