I Asked My MIL to Leave My Wedding Because Her Perfume Was Making Me Sick and Now My Wife Is Mad at Me

Family & kids
6 months ago

Weddings are meant to be joyous occasions, a celebration of love and the union of two souls embarking on a lifelong journey together. However, what happens when unexpected challenges arise, casting a cloud over the blissful atmosphere? In a tale that explores the delicate balance between personal comfort and familial expectations, one groom found himself at the center of a controversy that unfolded during the most significant day of his life.

The groom shared his story.

I just got married to the love of my life. I’ve usually gotten on pretty well with my new in-laws. Usually, my mother-in-law doesn’t wear perfume, or at least not any that I’ve been able to notice. My wife had her mother be her matron of honor, so she was standing with us upfront. It was a small area, and with her right next to my wife, I was able to smell her perfume.

Shortly after the ceremony started, I started to get watery eyes and sniffles. Our ceremony was supposed to only last 20 minutes max, so I thought I would just push through unless it got worse.

It didn’t get worse until after the ceremony when my new mother-in-law hugged me. Itchy eyes, itchy throat, and headache were added to the mix. My wife asked if I was all right, and I told her I thought her mother’s perfume was getting to me. We had someone go get some allergy medication. I took one, but it didn’t do a whole lot, and I started to feel out of it.

We got to the reception, and we started to take our photos, but I couldn’t take group photos with my mother-in-law in them. I told my wife we needed to figure something out because my symptoms weren’t letting up, and I didn’t want to be out of it by taking more meds for our reception or having to leave our own reception. My wife asked her mom to keep some distance between us to try and make it easier for me. It didn’t really. That perfume followed her like a cloud.

Then, my wife asked her mom to try to wash wherever she dabbed her perfume, but my mother-in-law said she hadn’t dabbed it on. She spritzed herself, so it was on her dress, too. At that point, they said they were out of ideas, and there wasn’t anything we could do.

I said there was one more thing and suggested that maybe mother-in-law leave to change her dress and then come back or even just go to a nearby thrift store or something and get any kind of clothes. I’d even pay for them. I asked my mother-in-law to either, please do that or to leave, and we’d visit later with cake because it was getting to the point that I would have to leave.

My wife and mother-in-law objected to this because my wife wanted her mom there the whole time. I understand the day was big for my wife, and she wanted her mother there, and I wanted her there too, but I wasn’t able to enjoy my own wedding. I wound up sitting outside with some of my family and groomsmen. I started to feel better, and when I did, my wife came out and asked if I’d be going back inside then. I told her no, so long as her mom was still there and hadn’t changed.

The night ended with my wife spending our wedding night at her parents’ house. Am I wrong for asking my mother-in-law to leave?

And got mixed reactions.

  • “Bad situation, but you were being reasonable. MIL should have gone and taken a shower and returned with clean clothes. Wife is being unreasonable.” odubik / Reddit
  • “I can’t believe your mother-in-law and your new wife would be so selfish. You were struggling to breathe is wildly messed up.” unknown / Reddit
  • “It’s not just your wife’s day, it’s yours too.” mama2myra / Reddit
  • “I started wearing cologne shortly before meeting my wife. I had three large bottles of different scents. Then I met her, and she’s allergic to most if not all perfumes and colognes. So those bottles sit unused at my parents’ place because I care more about her comfort than smelling like sandalwood or whatever.” Labby84 / Reddit
  • “I understand your wife wanting her mother to be present at the wedding, but it’s your wedding, too. Not only that, but the perfume was giving you an allergic reaction. Watery eyes, itchy throat, and headache sound bad enough, but prolonged exposure to an allergen can make those even worse. I know someone whose throat closes up and can’t breathe when they’re too close to certain perfumes and scents.” FoxBun_17 / Reddit
  • “You tried to compromise in every polite way possible, even offered to buy her a new dress not covered in the perfume. You didn’t just straight tell her to leave as soon as it got to you. While I do understand your wife’s point of view and wanting her mother there, she was extremely inconsiderate of you, her now husband. I do not think you did anything wrong here.” skyelyy / Reddit
  • “This one is hard. Your marriage did not start out really well. I would have been offended if you asked my mother to leave.” iamglory / Reddit
  • “If your allergy is that serious, why didn’t you tell all the attendees not to wear perfume or cologne?” Susccmmp / Reddit

This aromatic chapter in their journey reminded them that, much like a well-blended perfume, a successful marriage requires carefully balancing individual needs and collective aspirations. In overcoming this fragrant challenge, the couple can emerge stronger, armed with a newfound understanding of each other and the complexities that can arise when navigating the scents and sensitivities of life’s most cherished moments.


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