Larissa has been feeling the strain in her friendships since having her son. What seemed like small changes soon led her to a shocking discovery about her friends—one that left her questioning everything. How should she handle this? Here’s her story.
Hey, Bright Side,
I’ve been struggling with something for a while, and I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it or if something’s actually happening. I’m a young mom—my son’s still pretty little—and since he came into the picture, it feels like my friendships have been slipping away.
Before I had him, I was really close with my friends. We’d hang out all the time, go to the movies, grab coffee, and talk about everything. But after I had my son, things started to change.
It wasn’t big at first, just small things. Babysitters cost money, and I couldn’t always have a night out without him, so sometimes I’d bring him along. But something shifted.
I started to notice the tight smiles when I showed up with him. The invites to hang out slowed down. I kept telling myself it was just me, but it became harder to ignore.
I’ll admit, I’m not always great at reading social cues, but it started to feel like I was still friends with them but not really part of the group anymore. I kept thinking, “They’re probably just busy,” and told myself it was fine. But then one day, I stumbled upon a group chat.
Now, I didn’t mean to find it. It wasn’t snooping—I just noticed they hadn’t set the chat to private, so I peeked. I figured it’d be some fun updates, but when I scrolled through, my stomach dropped.
I wasn’t in the group. None of my friends had included me. And it wasn’t some random group chat—I’m talking about the group chat, the one where everyone from our circle was in it. They were all chatting, making plans... without me.
As I kept reading, I saw my name pop up. But not in the way I hoped. They weren’t saying, “Hey, we miss you!” No, they were joking about “adult nights,” and one message stuck out: “Don’t invite her; it’s awkward.”
I just sat there staring at the screen, trying to process it. The more I thought about it, the more I realized: I hadn’t drifted away from them. I’d been quietly pushed out. What hurt more—was it the fact that they were making plans without me or that I was seeing it all from the outside?
Now, I’m grieving friendships I didn’t even know were slipping away. They didn’t say anything to my face. There was no confrontation. It just happened.
And now I’m left wondering—am I being too sensitive? Should I confront them, or just let it go? What do you do when you realize your friends have quietly left you behind without saying a word?
So, how do you handle situations like this? And how do you stop feeling like it’s your fault, even when you know it probably isn’t?
Thanks for listening. I’m feeling a little lost.
Larissa
Let it go. Don't put yourself where you're not wanted. A lot of friends are just for a season, your season with them has ended, at least for now, they might come back around when they embark on motherhood, they might not.
Find people who are in your season, join gymbaroo, playgroups, Bible studies with other mothers, library groups, etc.
It’s totally understandable to wonder if Larissa’s being too sensitive. We mean, sometimes we can overthink things, especially when we’re in a new phase of life like motherhood. Maybe her friends just got busy or didn’t know how to include her with a baby around.
But on the flip side, feeling excluded is a real emotion, and if her friends were being cold or distant, it’s hard not to take that personally. It’s tough to figure out whether it’s all in her head or if she’s truly been pushed out.
Could Larissa have done something differently? Maybe she could have communicated more with her friends or found ways to balance motherhood and social life better. After all, friendships take effort, and things do change when a baby enters the picture.
But then again, it’s not all on her. If her friends didn’t make the effort to include her or address their feelings, that’s not something she can control. It seems like a shared responsibility, so it’s hard to say if it’s entirely her fault.
You are at different life stages. They are single and childfree and have different priorities than you do now. Not every friendship lasts a lifetime. Expand your social circle to others in this life phase.
On one hand, confronting them could clear the air. Larissa might get some answers and maybe even rekindle those friendships. But then again, what if it just makes things awkward? They might not even realize how much it hurt her.
On the other hand, leaving it alone could save her from potential drama. Maybe moving on is the healthiest choice, especially if they’ve already made their feelings clear. But how do you get closure without any real conversation?
Larissa’s story reminds us how friendship can shift in unexpected ways. If you’ve felt left out or unsure how to handle silent drifting, you’re not alone. Read another perspective on feeling betrayed by people you trusted right here.
