I Became a Surrogate for My Best Friend, Years Later It Turned Out My Most Horrible Mistake

I thought I was just helping a friend become a mom. I saw how she struggled with infertility, how she wanted to hold her own baby, but she couldn’t. I stepped in and became her surrogate.

But 25 years later, the girl I gave birth to as a surrogate did something so jaw-dropping, I now wish I’d never agreed to it. I’m still in shock, and you probably will be too. Read the full story and sound off in the comments, I know you’re going to have opinions.

A woman turned to Reddit and provoked quite a stir with her mind-blowing confession.

The OP shared, “Twenty five years ago, my close friend Clara and her husband James were struggling with infertility. Clara couldn’t conceive or use her own eggs. She asked me if I would consider carrying a baby for them to use my egg and James’s material. I had already had my two kids and was done having children, I was hesitant at first, but eventually I agreed because I wanted to help my friend become a mother.

Nine months later, their daughter Bella was born. From the start, Clara and James raised her as their own. I’ve always been ‘Auntie’ to her, just a close family friend and that’s all she ever knew.

My own kids always knew the truth, I never hid it from them. They understood that Bella was biologically related to them and that I had helped my friend start a family. I never told Bella anything because I truly didn’t feel it was my place. It was something her parents needed to decide if or when to tell her.”

Bella found out the truth by accident, and since then everything turned upside down.

The woman shared, “A few weeks ago, Bella and her fiancé were at his family’s house, and they all did one of those DNA kits for fun. When the results came back, Bella saw that she had Cuban and Black ancestry which confused her since she knows both her parents are white.

Instead of asking them, she used the combination to their safe which she had learned a while back and started going through their personal documents.

She found an old photo of me pregnant in a hospital bed with Clara holding my hand, and she also found paperwork about Clara’s infertility. After that she started pulling away, especially from Clara and none of us understood why until everything exploded.”

Bella had a lot to say to her biological mother.

The woman wrote, “My family and I were over at Clara and James’s house helping with wedding prep. At one point, Clara and I were in the kitchen talking about my kids and Clara mentioned that I had paid for both of their weddings, she wished she could do the same for her daughter. Bella must have overheard, because she walked in and suddenly said that I should be paying for her wedding too since she’s also my daughter.

I was totally thrown off. Clara asked what she meant, and Bella just snapped. She said I was her real mother and accused Clara and James of lying to her. She said she had grown up in a fake home while my kids got the life she was supposed to have. She slammed the photo on the table and stormed out with her fiancé.

The next day, Clara asked me to come over. Bella didn’t want to, but showed up later after Clara begged her. She told us about the DNA test and going through the safe, and how she felt like this answered something she had always felt deep down.

She said she’s always been jealous of my kids, not just for their vacations or home life, but also because I gave them a good life without anyway hardships. She said she still loves Clara but feels like she never really belonged, and now she thinks I’m the missing piece. She even called Clara a child snatcher.”

The OP is desperate now, because her good intentions backfired so violently.

The woman shared, “That’s when I stepped in. I told her she needed to stop talking to Clara like that. She turned to me and said, ’You’re my real mother, why don’t you love me?’ I told her as calmly as I could that I was nothing more than an egg donor, I told her I love her like a niece and that’s all.

Clara is her mother, not me. I wasn’t the one who raised her, I wasn’t there for her childhood. Clara was. I never saw her as my daughter because that wasn’t the role I had in her life.

She left again crying and since then has sent me over twenty messages. Some are angry and some are pleading. She’s asked me to meet with her and James because she says we’re her real parents. She says she loves Clara but insists she’s always felt a disconnect and that I’m the reason why.

Clara and I have been in touch since the blow up, and we’re both heartbroken. My husband thinks I should have a one on one with Bella, but honestly I feel like there’s nothing left to say. I didn’t raise her. Clara did. She was always a wonderful mother and up until now she and Bella had a great relationship. I don’t know why Bella is spiraling like this.

Clara was there for every birthday, every school day, every scraped knee, heartbreak, and milestone. I made peace with my role in Bella’s life a long time ago. I never saw myself as her mother, not because I didn’t care, but because that was never the agreement. I helped a friend become a mother, and I kept that promise. Am I wrong in this situation?”

People of Reddit were extremely active in the comments. The woman’s post gained over 2,300 opinions.

One person wrote, “Sounds like Bella is having an existential crisis.”

Another user added, “Exactly, that’s what it looks like to me too. She found out something huge in the worst way possible, and now she’s scrambling to make sense of who she is. It’s messy, but yeah, definitely feels like an identity spiral more than anything else.”

One more Redditor said, “She has been betrayed by the three most trusted adults in her life, and she found out something that tears her identity apart without any support.
She should have been raised with this knowledge, and she would’ve been fine.”

One more person commented, “This is normal when kids are lied to about their genetic origin. One thing I know is Clara and James are the biggest wrongdoers in this story for lying to their daughter her entire life. There’s never ‘too young’ to know.
My mother and uncle were adopted as babies. They have no memory of ever being told they’re adopted. They’ve just always known. And, surprise, surprise, no identity crisis of ‘who am I?’ ever happened. Because they always knew.
I know donor conceived and adopted aren’t the same community, but they’re like...cousins? I guess, and this is one issue they share. Anyone having a donor conceived baby or adopting, just tell them from the get-go. It’s so simple.
Homegirl just needed to be told that Auntie OP was her tummy mummy to help her parents because they couldn’t have her without OP’s help. And then, as she gets older, she asks more, learns more, understands more and this whole thing never happens.”

And here’s another story with the biggest drama possible. Darla, 34, dreamed of becoming a mother.

A woman is faced with an impossible decision: adopt a child of her husband’s late ex, who wasn’t even conceived from her husband, or risk losing her marriage and facing lifelong guilt. As family members push harder, and her husband struggles with his own grief, she’s left torn between her mental health and a desperate little girl who’s lost everyone.

Read here how Darla fights to hold on to her sanity, her marriage, and her truth in a situation where every choice feels like heartbreak.