I Don’t Want My Stepson to Stay Under My Roof—His Lies Are Destroying Our Trust

Having someone new move into your home can change a lot in the household’s routine. It adds another mouth to feed, a re-establishment of personal space, and potential issues over chores. When Jared’s stepson moved into his home, these were the least of his problems.

This is Jared’s story.

Dear Bright Side,

My stepson, (24), decided to move in with us. He claimed that he lost his job and needs a place to stay until he gets back on his feet. When he came, he brought over a suitcase and kept it in the room, locked away.

I felt something off. I warned my wife, “My gut tells me we shouldn’t trust him.” She just laughed it off and thought I was being paranoid.

I decided to sneak into his room and opened the suitcase when he was out running errands. As I opened it and saw the contents, I froze. It was letters from a doctor confirming that he was sick and needed urgent treatment, which he refused.

When my wife and I confronted him about it, he said it was the reason why he got fired and can’t find a proper job. So, I realized that he’s basically planning on staying in our house for more than he let on.

I told him he has to leave immediately. My wife thought I was being heartless and lacked any ounce of compassion. She refuses to talk to me now that her son left to fend for himself elsewhere.

Did I do the right thing? Should I bring my stepson back? Please help.

Jared H.

Try to reconsider your choice of kicking him out.

Thank you for sharing your story with us, Jared. Finding out that your stepson might have to stay much longer than you anticipated is understandably a shock. But, he’s sick. He needs your compassion to push through and find another job to sustain himself.

Plus, there must be a reason why he refused treatment. You shouldn’t have been too quick to dismiss him. Hear him out first.

Your wife needs to understand your side of the story.

You rushed to kicking your stepson out without considering your wife’s opinion. Therefore, you should try to apologize first and acknowledge that kicking him out so quickly was a mistake. Afterwards, you both should reach a solid agreement over what to do next, whether that involves calling your stepson back or not.

Deciding what to do with your stepson.

The best course of action could be contacting your stepson and asking him for more details about his illness and what can be done. He needs to focus on getting treatment to find his next job. You can try to support him during that time. If possible, ask your wife if any other relatives can share the load, and he can stay over at other places.

Shocking news, more often than not, can lead to impulsive decisions. The best thing to do is to take a long, deep breath and look at every angle of the problem before trying to find a solution. Speaking of finding a solution, these families are still trying to find one for their problems.