I Overheard a Conversation Between My Wife and Son and Canceled the Mother’s Day Celebration

Finding love again after obstacles cruelly snatches the people we love is a blessing. It is, however, not as easy as we might deem it to be, especially in a situation where both parties have children from their previous relationship. There are always sacrifices and compromises to be made for unity to reign, but most importantly, each parent has to love their partner’s children as their own. However, this might not be easy sometimes, and the results always affect the relationship between the new partners.

One of our readers encountered a similar issue and contacted us through our email on Bright Side.

Hello Steve,

We appreciate you for reaching out. First, it was wrong for her to leave without communicating, since it escalates the feeling of frustration. Furthermore, we understand why you feel hurt, since we suppose you felt that she should view both children as her own. Nevertheless, you need to communicate with your wife and make things better for both of you and the children’s sake.

• You need to give her space. The fight between the both of you must have dampened things a little; although you might feel it would have been better if you were in the same space to solve things, giving her the time might strengthen things between the two of you in the long run.
• It would help if you took the time to reflect on your marriage. During this period, focus on how you feel about the situation, why you feel that way, and what you think would be a solution to the problem. This will allow you to cool down and think more objectively about the issue.

• It would be best if you met up to discuss the issue. After both of you have cooled down, you need to discuss how you will deal with the children. You need to understand that biological families fight, but it escalates more when it involves stepchildren due to differences in family dynamics.
• You need to express the parental role that you expect of her. Remember that you are married, but that does not mean that she has automatically understood and accepted the role you’ve envisioned; therefore, you should have realistic expectations during your communication.
• Communicate constructively. Explicitly make her understand that you value your son, and that she must be more receptive to him, as in this case she seems more concerned about her family and friends than how your son (and you) feels. Also, hear her out.

What would be your advice to Steve? We would appreciate your comments on how he can deal with this matter, especially if you have been through a situation like this.