Family dynamics can be tricky, and sometimes, the relationships we cherish the most can take unexpected turns. One of our readers, Elizabeth L., reached out to share how the love and care she’d given her grandkids was turned against her. The choices she had to make were anything but easy, and it’s left her questioning what family truly means.
So glad u found the betrayal..my grandkids ..outgrew me .felt lost ..joined a. Community group for seniors ...best favor..they ever ga e me ..i am no longer allowing myself too be at their mercy ..found a whole other road .i also let them know how .hurt. And .disappointed i felt.
Hi Bright Side!
I’ve spent most of my life being a mother and a grandmother, and for the longest time, my grandkids (Alice is 8 and Jake is 11) brought me more joy than anything else. Even though I’ve never quite gotten along with my daughter-in-law, I would always make the effort to have the kids over.
It gave me a sense of purpose, especially since I’ve been living with heart disease for so long. But things changed last week when I had them over for the weekend.
They had been a little defiant, but I figured they were just going through a phase. After lunch, I was cleaning up their toys (I asked them to do it, but they didn’t), and I found something I never expected: betrayal. I was reaching under the bed for a doll my granddaughter had thrown under there when I overheard my grandkids in the next room talking on the phone with their mother.
My heart dropped when I heard her words. She was telling them to ignore me whenever I asked them to do something. Not only that, but she encouraged them to defy me and go against anything I said. It was a twisted act of revenge through the very children I adore.
When I confronted the kids, my world shattered. They sided with their mother and told me they were just giving me a taste of my own medicine, since apparently I never listen to anything she says. I was blindsided. These were the kids I’d poured my heart into, and they were turning against me like this.
Even though my love for them never wavered, in that moment, I felt a small seed of resentment take root. I decided then and there I couldn’t let them stay under my roof another night. I packed their stuff and told my DIL to pick them up.
My son called me later, saying I could’ve handled the situation more gracefully, and maybe he’s right. But at this moment, I feel like my heart is broken beyond repair. I don’t know what to feel now. All I wanted was to love and care for my grandkids, but it feels like my daughter-in-law has turned them into weapons against me.
It’s hard to accept, and harder still to know that my son doesn’t fully understand why I did what I did. I’ve never been so disappointed in my family, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look at my grandkids the same way again.
Your son and his wife are wrong.. stop having them around until things change.
Elizabeth, this situation must be incredibly painful for you. You’ve given so much love and care to your grandkids, and to find out they’ve been influenced in such a hurtful way is devastating. Family conflicts like this can feel like a betrayal, and it’s completely valid to feel upset.
Your decision to set boundaries, though difficult, might be necessary for your emotional well-being. Family relationships can take time and effort to heal, and it’s important to prioritize your own mental and emotional health in the process.
It may also be beneficial to have an honest conversation with your son to explain your feelings and what you discovered. He may not fully understand the depth of the situation. Let’s hope this is the case and he can advocate for you in the future. Please keep us updated on the situation, we’d love to hear from you again.
If you’re looking for more stories about difficult family dynamics, check out this one, where a granddaughter’s shocking behavior led to a lesson she won’t forget.
The woman needs to heed what she heard the DIL say "giving her a taste of her own medicine"
If you are not respecting the DIL or listening to her, then this is why this is happening. Karma hurts. What goes around comes around. DIL using children to serve a purpose is wrong. However, you refusing grandkids to stay is also wrong.
Communication with DIL and Son needs to happen for this family to mend. Whether you like your DIL or not, you should be respectful and if she wants things certain ways with her children, you should honor her wishes. The only way forward is to listen to what your DIL feels you are ignoring with her, you should apologize for what she says has hurt her. Whether you meant it or not you are not entitled to dictate how your actions affected her. They clearly have hurt her first.
Once this forgiveness between the both of you happen, you and DIL both should be able to move forward with a new attitude and DIL should apologize for bringing kids into this revenge situation and tell them they are to listen and respect grandmother.
Good luck to all in this family.
She's basing her decision to nuke family Based on parts of an overheard conversation. Where the claim that she made may not have existed or could have been said as a joke.
I can't side with her. She needs to have an adult conversation with her son before she goes off into crazy town.
I don't think she's been the great mother and grandmother that she claims.
You did absolutely right. I would call my dil out right in front of my son so he could know exactly why I responded the way I did. If he agrees with her and does not fix the issue.No contact him also. Loving family should not disrupt your peace. I would of stopped it at the children telling me no to what I asked them to do. And I would of taken the phone and told my dil off and told my son why I did it. And sent them home. Your dil is a problem and it's running over into your grandkids. Talk to your son about the kids behavior and what she said. But keep standing on principal and your boundaries.
My ex husband did this with my three children even telling them they could hit me
You should tell your son everything with her there if he sides with her tell him ok but I'll have no further involvement with you or your wife . Tell him you love him but the disrespect his wife is showing you and what she told the kids to do is not right , that she should have told you first what her problem was and not involve the kids
