I Suspect My Husband Is Cheating on Me With a Woman He Met at Work

A woman noticed her husband getting too close to another woman, making her doubt their relationship. Although she trusted him at first, she’s now turning to the online community for advice on how to handle the situation and move forward.

«It seems like my husband might have a crush on another woman. He does maintenance work and has been spending a lot of time helping a single mom lately, which I’m okay with because he’s always been kind and helpful. They’ve been texting each other late at night, but it’s mostly about friendly stuff.

Things started bothering me when I saw a text from her saying she was scared her ex might come around or something, and my husband wanted to go over to her house to watch over her. We had a big fight about it.

Then, the other day, he picked her and her kids up from work and school without telling me. Lately, he’s been „forgetting“ tools at her house, and I can’t shake the feeling that something might be going on between them.»

«I’m feeling so frustrated right now. Whenever I bring up my concerns about my husband helping this single mom, he gets really angry. But it’s getting worse. The other day, he even asked me to babysit her kids while she went to work, and I said no way. I just don’t want anything to do with her, and I’m tired of hearing about her. My husband blew up at me for refusing and said that I was trying to stop him from being a good person.

I’m stuck and don’t know what to do. Should I talk to this woman and ask her to stop messaging him so late? I’m starting to feel uncomfortable with the idea of them just being friends. But it’s complicated because we have kids together, so leaving him isn’t an easy option. I feel lost and can’t think clearly with all these emotions swirling around. Any advice would be appreciated.»

Many readers chimed in after seeing her post, sharing their perspectives and giving suggestions.

• He may have a kind heart for her, but he doesn’t care about your feelings. You said you understand that he likes to help people, but he needs some boundaries as this is affecting your relationship and trust for him. How would he feel if the situation were reversed? If he’s not willing to put your needs first, then I think you do need to reconsider your relationship with him. © Dear_Parsnip_6802 / Reddit

• Emotional affairs are sneaky. Good people slip into them all the time. They lie to themselves and tell themselves they aren’t doing anything technically wrong. They don’t want to examine where the good feelings are coming from, they just want them to keep coming. Pushing them to look at what they’re doing may be the wake-up call that they don’t want, but they need. © bamatrek / Reddit

• Honestly, any husband who is truly innocent and cares about his wife would make it a point to make sure that the two women were friendly, and his wife was comfortable. And any decent single mom would invite the woman over and maintain appropriate levels of contact. Don’t let your husband gaslight and manipulate you into thinking you are crazy. © Daydream-amnesia / Reddit

• It sounds like you’ve got a knight in shining armor. They will also go after the nearest damsel in distress. If you point out a problem, you will turn into the evil queen who is out to get the poor damsel and block the shining knight. © Fine-Beautiful5863 / Reddit

• I would sit him down and tell him point-blank, «It’s her or me! You either cut off this inappropriate relationship, and we go to couples counseling, or you can go stay at her house permanently while we get a divorce. I’m not going to be the second priority in my marriage.
  I am your wife, not her. If you want her fine, leave. If you choose me, you will go completely no contact with her from here on out.» © TheLeoScribe / Reddit

• It almost doesn’t matter if they’re having an affair or not. She’s openly inserted him into the «substitute husband» role, and he’s happy to take it on. That’s a problem on its own. Nobody should get priority over your life partner whom you made vows. Both your husband and this woman are playing in your face. © TheSpiral11 / Reddit

Sometimes, couples facing challenges in their relationship consider the option of an open marriage as a solution. However, it’s not always smooth sailing. A woman shared her story where, despite agreeing to an open marriage, her husband became upset when she pursued a relationship with someone else.