My Girlfriend Refuses to Shower, and It’s Destroying Our Relationship

Sometimes, the smallest habits can create the biggest cracks in a relationship. Hygiene is usually a personal choice, but when it starts affecting daily interactions, it can become a serious issue. One man found himself struggling with his girlfriend’s refusal to shower. Now, their relationship is hanging by a thread.

One user shared a story on Reddit.

My girlfriend showers once a week, even after going to the gym. She says, "Women don't sweat much, and I sweat little even for women's standards." She now uses the sauna at the gym and still refuses to shower. I've said, "There's no way you don't sweat in the sauna, just me sitting 5 minutes in there, gets me soaked." She says she doesn't sweat much there either.

I can smell her very badly. I try not to breathe too close to her. I've tried to give hints to get her to shower more. Once, she invited me to lie down next to her. I lasted for about a minute, then got up. She says, "Why are you leaving? You never do stuff with me." I can't be close to her for long.

This one thing was bugging me in the relationship. I couldn't hold it any longer and said, "You say you don't sweat, but I can smell. I'd appreciate it if you showered a bit more." She accused me of things, and asked if I found her disgusting. She said she doesn't want to shower her hair often, but still, you can shower your body. Our relationship is borderline over. What could I have done differently?

People took his side.

• I admire her level of confidence. I could never be with someone like this. If my partner needs to shower, I'll gently ask, and he'll do it, because he's polite and it's courteous.
  I kinda wonder if there's something deeper going on here. Like, in what world does a person grow up to think they are magically above basic hygiene? PossibilityHuman3617 / Reddit

• It's not just about sweat. No wonder you don't want to be near her. I shower every other day and feel dirty if I don't. I have dry skin. Otherwise, I'd shower daily, but my skin hurts if it gets too dry.
  She should be showering at least that often, and absolutely after each visit to the gym and sauna. Gross. No-Daikon3645 / Reddit

• Before I get slated, I'm a woman. Hints haven't worked. Direct hasn't worked. Leave.
  Go and find someone who values personal hygiene. I guarantee if you smelled, she'd be the first to tell you. Bitter-Paramedic-531 / Reddit

• You did your best to hint. You did your best to not be rude when hints didn't work. Poor hygiene is disrespectful to the people around you.
  Here's a tip for everyone out there. People only ask about your shower habits if you smell bad. If people think you smell good, they'll just say you smell good. Maybe they'll ask what you do that smells good, but there will be a compliment in there. thefanciestcat / Reddit

We all have our own hygiene habits, but sometimes, even small differences can spark unexpected conflicts. In this article, our reader found herself at odds with her husband, who constantly criticized her for using toilet paper instead of showering every time. It left her feeling frustrated and embarrassed over something she never imagined would be an issue.