My Son’s Therapist Harmed Him, and I’m at a Crossroads

We recently received a heartfelt letter from a concerned parent describing a troubling situation involving her young son and his therapist. The parent’s account details an upsetting experience during therapy sessions that has left her seeking advice and support.

The situation was deeply unsettling for the parent. Ethan, a 7-year-old boy, had been seeing Dr. K, his therapist, for about six months. The therapy was intended to help him with anxiety after he faced trolling at school. Dr. K had come highly recommended, and initially, everything seemed to be progressing well.

However, something happened during Ethan’s regular therapy session that raised serious concerns. Normally, Ethan would be cheerful and eager to share details about his sessions when picked up.

It became clear that something significant had occurred during the session. Ethan disclosed that while playing a card game with Dr. K, he had made several mistakes due to inattention.

Worse, Dr. K had told Ethan not to inform his parent about the incident, emphasizing that it was a secret between them. She had also criticized him harshly, calling him stupid and accusing him of not trying hard enough, which left Ethan feeling deeply hurt.

Her immediate decision was made to withdraw Ethan from Dr. K’s care, but now the parent faced the daunting task of deciding the next steps—whether to report the therapist’s behavior and how to ensure that other children were not subjected to similar mistreatment.

What to do when a therapist behaves unethically.

If you believe your therapist is acting unethically, the first step is to address it directly during a session. Share your concerns and ask for clarification on anything that seems confusing or troubling. If the response you receive does not reassure you, it might be best to end the therapeutic relationship.

Therapists are bound by state laws and regulations, and you have the option to file a complaint with the licensing board if you believe there has been an ethics violation. While reporting may feel like an added burden, especially when you might prefer to move on, it’s worth considering. Reach out to the state board and the therapist’s professional association (indicated by letters after their name, such as LMHC or LMFT) to understand the process for filing a complaint.

The decision to proceed is entirely up to you. Keep in mind that if a therapist has acted unethically with you, they may have done so with others as well, and your complaint could help prevent further issues.

What would you do in the situation when the therapist behaves unethically?