My MIL And SIL Are Purposely Trying to Ruin My Marriage to Win a Bet, I’m Desperate

Conflicts with in-laws are hardly a new phenomenon. In fact, 3 out of 4 married couples report having major disagreements with their in-laws. However, this particular MIL (mother-in-law), SIL (sister-in-law), and FIL (father-in-law) might just set the bar for “The Worst In-Laws of All Time.”

The trouble began when they referred to their daughter-in-law (DIL) as their son’s “best friend” instead of acknowledging her as his wife. For a while, the couple couldn’t understand why they would use such a dismissive term. That is, until a shocking conversation between the husband and his father revealed the truth. Devastated and struggling to process this betrayal, the wife turned to the internet, seeking advice on how to handle the situation.

A desperate woman turned to Reddit.

A woman, 26, shared her story that made many people puzzled and concerned at the same time. The OP went under the nickname faxxed, and she sincerely wanted people to give her a piece of advice on her intricate relationship with her in-laws. And later, the woman shared an update to her story that made many people question the sanity of her family members and feel sorry for the desperate wife.

The woman began her story, saying [edited] “My husband Robbie and I got married earlier this year. 2 months after our wedding day, we celebrated my birthday at my in-laws’ house. We were all sitting together in the living room and my SIL got a phone call. She answered the phone and her friend asked what she was doing. To my shock, she replied that it was her ’brother’s best friend’s birthday’.”

This seemed quite strange to the OP, and she didn’t quite expect this, especially after their wedding day, when so much love and support was shown from both sides of their family. The woman wrote, “I had never heard anyone refer to me as Robbie’s best friend. I am his wife, and before that we were engaged for over 2 years. Hearing my SIL refer to me like that confused me greatly. I always refer to her as my SIL, and I would expect her to do the same. Or maybe even as Robbie’s wife, but certainly not best friend.”

The OP confronted her SIL, but didn't get any clarity.

The woman wrote, “After my SIL hung up her phone, I asked her why she referred to me the way she did. She did not seem at all abashed. She just said, ’Well, you are best friends! And that’s what mom and dad call you’ (referring to MIL and FIL).”

The OP was taken aback by such behavior. Though she and her sister-in-law weren’t particularly close, they were always kind and respectful toward each other. The woman shared that the two of them had never had any disagreements or conflicts. However, they didn’t spend time together outside of family gatherings, as their personalities were quite different. But the woman was pretty sure that her SIL has never given her any reason to think she’s upset or annoyed with her.

The woman continues, saying, “I decided to let it go that night, even though it weirded me out. But then it all happened again a few days ago, which is why I’m writing this post.”

The weird relationship affected even the OP's work life.

The OP confessed that this wasn’t the only case when her in-laws called her a strange “best friend” name. The woman shared, “My MIL and I both work in the same industry doing similar jobs, but at different companies in the area. Sometimes our companies collaborate when we have clients who switch over.”

“This week we had that happen, and I had to pay a visit to my MIL’s office to help a client transition. My MIL was in the office, so I stopped by to say hello. While I was there, she introduced me to her colleague, and once again I was perplexed by how she did it. She said, ’This is my son’s best friend!’
As I was shaking hands with the colleague, I paused and awkwardly said, ’I’m his wife...’ The colleague looked confused, but my MIL continued to smile and didn’t address it.”

Once they were alone, the OP asked her mother-in-law why she referred to her that way. Just like her sister-in-law, her husband’s mom didn’t seem to think it was odd at all. She simply concluded that OP and her husband are best friends and there was nothing to make a scandal about.

OP had so many thoughts about the reasons of this strange behavior.

The woman shared, “The only thing that I can think to explain this is that in my vows to Robbie, I promised to continue being his best friend. Nobody acted like this was odd or special, and I feel like it’s a pretty common thing to put in vows.
So I’m not sure why Robbie’s family seems to have clung to it, unless it has nothing to do with everything. I’ve spoken to Robbie about this, too, and he is also perplexed by it. He asked his parents privately about it, and they gave him the same answer they’ve been giving me.”

“It all just feels like some sort of mocking behavior to me, but I’ve never felt a sense of this from them before. Are they calling me his best friend because they don’t like the fact I’m his wife? Or is it some inside joke they’ve been in on without me?
I’m not sure what to do or make of it, especially because the in-laws are acting like it’s not an issue when I bring it up. Yes, I am Robbie’s best friend, but I’m also his life partner, and their DIL/SIL. I don’t know what to do.”

Some time ago, the OP posted a mind-stirring update and revealed the real reason why her in-laws were so rude.

The woman has come to Reddit one more time, and shared an emotional update where she revealed what she had found out about her in-laws and their evil plans. She wrote, “Unfortunately for my relationship with Robbie’s family, it has become even worse. Yesterday afternoon, Robbie and I were invited over to his parent’s house for dinner. I have a big project due this week at work, so I needed to stay home and wrap it up.
I told Robbie to go catch up with his family while I order a pizza. Apparently, this is when Robbie decided he was going to ’set things straight’ and figure out why his mom and sister keep referring to me as his ’best friend’. Please keep in mind that I’m telling this story based on the details that my husband has given me.”

OP shared, “Robbie and his dad tend to have guy time together after dinners, where they hang out in his dad’s garage and talk about car stuff and projects at home/work. This is where Robbie confronted his dad about the whole situation.
From what I can tell, it took some coaxing to get this information out of FIL, but eventually he admitted to Robbie that my MIL and SIL and him were all in on some sort of ’bet’ as to how long mine and Robbie’s marriage was going to last. FIL bet that we would stay together, whereas MIL bet less than one year, and SIL bet less than 6 months. Apparently there was a cash prize involved. I don’t really want to know how much it was.”

From what the OP’s FIL shared, she concluded that the whole “best friend” label was a deliberate attempt to get under her skin and create doubts about her relationship with her husband and his family. They thought that if they treated it like a non-issue for long enough, it would drive the OP crazy and eventually make her angry at her husband for not stepping in.

Things have been developing in the most dramatic way possible after FIL's confession.

The OP wrote, “Robbie then says he stormed into the house to confront his mom about this all. It ended in a screaming match between Robbie, MIL, and FIL. Robbie eventually stormed out and walked to a nearby gas station, and from there he called me for a ride since he couldn’t drive. This morning, when I drove Robbie back to get his car, we had a horribly awkward confrontation with his parents.”

“MIL is apparently PISSED at FIL for betraying the secret, and they were fighting about it all night. FIL will be staying with us in our extra bedroom for a couple days, or until they can calm down and talk to each other again.”

“Robbie is now set on going no-contact with his mom and sister. He is angry with his father, but is more willing to forgive him. Personally, I would prefer if we saw a family therapist before doing this, but we are still ironing out the details. Hopefully we can get through this with both marriages intact.”

People of Reddit rushed to the comments section to share their opinions about the OP’s situation.

People fully supported the desperate woman and wrote their thoughts about the situation.

One person commented, “While the way they’re treating you is abhorrent and not something I would do to a stranger or even someone I dislike, it’s a whole nother level of messed up to try to sabotage their son’s/brother’s marriage on purpose. What kind of monster actively tries to wreck their family member’s life to win a bet? Gross.”

Another user added, “Wow. Listen. If your husband is set on going NC with his mom and sister, respect his decision. You seem like you’re trying to play peacemaker, but they have horribly disrespected you and your marriage. What they did was all kinds of disaster. Even FIL is a bad person for his part in it, even if he was the only one on your side (sort of).
Family therapy only works and helps if all parties involved are willing to try, but it frankly sounds like the women hate you, want you gone and will never give you or your marriage a chance.”

One more person said, “OP, you didn’t break this, you can’t fix this. Please respect your husband when he said he’s done. They’re willing to sabotage your whole future happiness of your entire lives together to win a dumb bet: they’re not people you need in your life and even if your husband wasn’t already done with them, you would be well advised to be done with them yourself.
They don’t care about you, your marriage, or your relationship with them. No amount of therapy can change that. Sometimes you have to accept things or people are the way they are, whatever that is.”

And here’s a story of a woman who hates her MIL with all her heart, despite her MIL being the sweetest person on Earth. The woman shared her story and explained why she has such controversial feelings towards her husband’s mom, who loves her as her own daughter.