My Sister-in-Law Secretly Tested My Adopted Daughter’s DNA

Family is supposed to support one another through all challenges, but occasionally, a toxic person tries to disrupt that bond. This was the case for a Redditor who shared his story online, detailing how his sister-in-law's attempt to expose what she thought was a family secret backfired, as her efforts to cause turmoil fell flat.

He wrote:

"I am a 30-year-old man, and I have a 6-year-old daughter. I am not biologically related to her; there is no blood relation between us. I had been friends with her mother for most of my childhood. We were never romantically involved and remained just friends. She had her daughter at 23 with her 25-year-old husband. When she was still a newborn, they both passed away in an accident.

So following the tragic deaths of my friend and her husband, I adopted their baby, Lily. Both my friend and her husband had difficult family backgrounds and no siblings, so there was no 'next of kin' for Lily to go to. However, because I was close with them, I was able to adopt her. Although I was uncertain about having kids, I didn't want Lily to grow up in foster care or with people who had no connection to her biological parents, so I stepped in."

He went on explaining:

"My parents and siblings are aware that my daughter is not biologically mine. Lily also knows she’s adopted. I never hid this from her—she knows her parents are deceased. Lily doesn’t resemble me at all; she looks exactly like her biological mother and father. Most people assume I’m her biological dad and that she just takes after her mom, but I don’t usually correct them since it seems unnecessary.

My brother has been with his fiancée for about two years now. A few weeks ago, we were all meeting at my parents' house when my sister-in-law (SIL) saw an old photo of me and my friend (Lily’s mom.) She pointed to my friend and asked who she was. I told her she was Lily’s mom.

SIL got quiet and stared at the picture for a while, but I didn’t think much of it. To clarify, she knew my friend had passed away, but I guess she didn’t know my friend had been married or that Lily wasn’t my biological daughter. She must have assumed Lily was my and my friend’s biological child."

He added:

"Then, the next day, she ran a DNA test on Lily behind my back, using my brother’s DNA for comparison. When the results showed that they weren’t related, she realized that Lily wasn’t my biological daughter. She came up to me and waved the results in my face, claiming that I was raising a dead woman’s affair baby. She said this in front of my daughter and family. I stared at her for a moment, then burst out laughing.

I told her I was fully aware Lily wasn’t my biological daughter and that it’s called adoption. Her face turned red, and she stormed off. Now, my brother is upset, claiming I embarrassed his fiancée. But I think she embarrassed herself by testing a child who isn’t hers and then flaunting the results.

What did she expect me to do? Break down and abandon my daughter? My brother says she thought she was doing the right thing, and he thinks I’m in the wrong. I don’t feel that way, though, especially since my SIL crossed a serious boundary."

Other Redditors weighed in with their thoughts on the issue.

• Does SIL even have a relationship with her husband, your brother? Your brother knew everything, but she didn't even ask him. She saw the picture, was told what the situation was, albeit not with every detail, and got very silent deciding on her own what the rest of the details were and concocting a plan to expose it. Your brother's marriage will not end well. © Kind-Elderberry-4096 / Reddit

• What if Lily hadn't known she was adopted? What if Lily had been conceived with a sperm donor? There are so many reasons that this was none of that woman's business, and she stuck her nose into it in the worst way possible by waving the results around in front of people.
  She could have talked to her fiancé first but must not have because you say your parents and siblings know she's adopted. Instead of your brother being mad at you, he should be pissed at his fiancée. This would also ruin all credibility that woman has with me for anything. Anytime she brings something up, I would from now forward think she's just making up stories. © Spinnerofyarn / Reddit

• This incident should open your brother’s eyes and break it off with her, but instead, he is siding with her. Your future SIL created a very unnecessary situation. Even if you were married to Lily’s mother, she had no business running the DNA test. A sane person would not go to that extent, especially not without a reason. She just wanted to create drama and play hero. © yeoniesong / Reddit

• Your brother needs to really consider who he's marrying. She did a DNA test behind your back?! That's a huge deal!
  She didn't even think to just ask your brother about the situation. One question, and he'd have explained the kid is adopted. Doesn't your brother realize that this shows her character?
  She's spiteful, and believes the worst in people easily, and doesn't trust him or respect him. She doesn't respect his family. She doesn't treat children kindly. She's self-absorbed and doesn't think about the consequences of her actions.
  You could possibly sue her for it. Stealing someone else's chair for a DNA test definitely seems like something protected by law. © believehype1616 / Reddit

• If she wanted to protect you, she would have approached you privately with her concerns. She got publicly embarrassed in front of multiple people because she pulled a big, crazy reveal in front of multiple people. © Mysterious_Book8747 / Reddit

This time, the DNA test was entirely unnecessary, as everyone in the family—except for the inquisitive sister-in-law—was already aware of the little girl’s background. But in other instances, a DNA test could unearth long-hidden secrets, just as it did for these twin brothers.