My Stepchildren Refuse to Accept My Vegan Rules, I’ve Had Enough

Being vegan alone in a family can result in difficult moments, especially if you happen to be vegan as a stepdad of two kids who are not fans of vegetables. Being patient and creative can help conquer their resistance but even the most liberal rules can fail if they are met with full resistance.

Being the only vegan in the family is not easy

James shared his experience with us:

“I’ve been vegan for 10 years. My new wife has two kids from her previous marriage, and they refuse to eat any vegan food. One of them even said, ’Mom said we’d only have to eat this rabbit food sometimes.’ So I tried to compromise with three rules:

1. Everyone eats the same vegan meal at family dinner—no separate cooking.
2. Meat is allowed outside the home or during school lunches.
3. If they truly dislike a dish, I’ll find alternatives—but no mocking vegan food.

But instead of cooperation, I got resistance. The kids laughed. My wife said I was being ’rigid’ and that ’food should be fun, not forced.’ I know that, but I have no idea how to make vegan meals fun for them.”

Explain what being vegan means

One useful tip to get the attention of your stepchildren is to explain why you became vegan 10 years ago. Whether for the love of animals, saving the planet, or just not liking the taste of meat, sharing your reasons to choose this lifestyle can bring them closer to you. Even if they don’t feel the same, they are not likely to mock you again for the food.

Involve them in cooking

Another tip is to get your stepchildren involved in the making of the meals, so they can get to know what they are eating. They can also help with the meal plan, so you can find food that all of you will enjoy.

Try to create vegan versions of all their favorite dishes like spaghetti, burrito, burgers, or chilli. You can try new recipes as well, but make sure you let them enjoy the flavors and types of meals they are used to. Use vegan meat and cheese alternatives, as they might help them like vegan meals more.

Make dinners fun

Your wife is right about having meals should be fun, not an order. You can come up with special theme nights like Macaroni Mondays or Waffle Wednesdays. Do a tasting challenge or just visit a vegan restaurant together so they can discover a new side of the vegan diet.

Respect each other’s choices

If you make the meals, it’s normal to expect them at least to taste it, but they should have the right to not like it. You shouldn’t judge them for eating meat but at the same time, they shouldn’t make faces over your food.
If you can set up the expectation that everyone needs to respect each other’s choices, all of you feel good even at dinner time.

To learn more about how your body can change following a vegan diet, don’t miss our 19 People Whose Lives and Bodies Changed Dramatically After Becoming Vegan article.