My Stepchildren Refuse to Accept My Vegan Rules, I’ve Had Enough

month ago

Being vegan alone in a family can result in difficult moments, especially if you happen to be vegan as a stepdad of two kids who are not fans of vegetables. Being patient and creative can help conquer their resistance but even the most liberal rules can fail if they are met with full resistance.

Being the only vegan in the family is not easy

Sonia Saini

3 weeks ago

Try indian dishes they have so many vegan options . They are nutritious, tasty and full of veggies nobody can resist.

James shared his experience with us:

“I’ve been vegan for 10 years. My new wife has two kids from her previous marriage, and they refuse to eat any vegan food. One of them even said, ’Mom said we’d only have to eat this rabbit food sometimes.’ So I tried to compromise with three rules:

1. Everyone eats the same vegan meal at family dinner—no separate cooking.
2. Meat is allowed outside the home or during school lunches.
3. If they truly dislike a dish, I’ll find alternatives—but no mocking vegan food.

But instead of cooperation, I got resistance. The kids laughed. My wife said I was being ’rigid’ and that ’food should be fun, not forced.’ I know that, but I have no idea how to make vegan meals fun for them.”

Explain what being vegan means

Brian Wolfe

3 weeks ago

Stop putting your beliefs before your children's health got talk to your doctor about it they'll tell you your kids need more then vegan you probably shouldn't be a parent look up kids nutrition quit neglecting your child health it's actually illegal

Jessica N

3 weeks ago

I have a friend who went through this. Moved in with his girlfriend of a year who was vegan, never discussed the food thing ahead of time. He eats mostly meat and pasta, does cook with veggies but definitely not the main. Apparently she expected her home to be vegan and wouldn't even consider separate pans and dinnerware or designated nights. Said the smell of frying, grilling carcasses was abhorrent. Never said a word about any of this until he moved in where she thought he would cave in to demands. They had eaten many meals together where he'd make something separate or she would bring food she meal prepped so that was his vision. Also she couldn't afford the rent on the house they got by herself. He moved out within a week.

A. Lee

3 weeks ago

U should also respect your wife and step kid that they eat meat. U can't force them to be vegan.
U should consider this before you married.

Richard Watterson

3 weeks ago

A. Lee

U should use the word "you" if U want anyone to respect what U say

Callie Ge

3 weeks ago

You make vegan meals fun by not forcing your rigid eating habits on other people.

Your wife & her kids are not vegan , they do not choose to be vegan, you cannot force them to be vegan.

The best thing is for you to make your own meals & your wife cooks for herself & her children.

Vincent Causse

4 weeks ago

Being vegan is pretty much like a cult/religion, do not impose it to anyone but yourself. Worse this diet does not agree with everyone as we ARE obnivore and the needs of kids for proteins are greater.

Moonie

4 weeks ago

These are reasonable rules, his wife should've been supportive.

Elizabeth Gregory

3 weeks ago

Moonie

I think the husband needs to understand that he is in the minority. Would he be okay with his wife enforcing that dairy, eggs, meat or other animal products would be at every meal and he could have vegan meals while they are out to eat? Of course not. He would be complaining that he was being restricted and she was dictating his food choices. He can cook himself a meal and let his wife cook meals for her kids and herself. I was vegan at one point and when my husband came to me and said "honey I love you, but I really need chicken or something. The kids agree..." I said okay! I didn't say absolutely not you guys must eat what I make/eat! He came into their lives and is trying to completely change a MAJOR part of it. This isn't like having a food allergy and someone could die. This is his preference.

Vicki Thompson

3 weeks ago

Moonie

Nope. He's too controlling.

One useful tip to get the attention of your stepchildren is to explain why you became vegan 10 years ago. Whether for the love of animals, saving the planet, or just not liking the taste of meat, sharing your reasons to choose this lifestyle can bring them closer to you. Even if they don’t feel the same, they are not likely to mock you again for the food.

Involve them in cooking

Colleen Noriega

3 weeks ago

That's messed up so you're allowed to consume the type of food you like and desire. But only you are allowed to choose food according to your taste and preference. Nobody but you in this household gets to eat anything the like or desire. Does this seem fair if so she should take her children and herself far far away from you. Selfish entitled unhinged individual you are the as-----

Another tip is to get your stepchildren involved in the making of the meals, so they can get to know what they are eating. They can also help with the meal plan, so you can find food that all of you will enjoy.

Try to create vegan versions of all their favorite dishes like spaghetti, burrito, burgers, or chilli. You can try new recipes as well, but make sure you let them enjoy the flavors and types of meals they are used to. Use vegan meat and cheese alternatives, as they might help them like vegan meals more.

Make dinners fun

Leslie B

4 weeks ago

Hmmmmm, family of 4 and you are the lone vegan…..”new wife” which means new step-kids…..hmmmmm. Firstly, how new is new? To enter into a new family and demand that they eat like you? If this was Reddit, ya you are the AH. There is no mention of the kids age or how long you have been involved in their lives. Tell you one thing, as an adult I’d be pretty pissy about your “rules”! Being vegan is a choice, a choice YOU made and should not be forced upon them. If you want to “introduce “ vegan dishes to accompany what a normal dinner for them would be THAT would be a great compromise. I think that your overall relationship is going to suffer if you continue to DEMAND that they eat like you. Pick your battle, decide if this is worth it.

Your wife is right about having meals should be fun, not an order. You can come up with special theme nights like Macaroni Mondays or Waffle Wednesdays. Do a tasting challenge or just visit a vegan restaurant together so they can discover a new side of the vegan diet.

Respect each other’s choices

If you make the meals, it’s normal to expect them at least to taste it, but they should have the right to not like it. You shouldn’t judge them for eating meat but at the same time, they shouldn’t make faces over your food.
If you can set up the expectation that everyone needs to respect each other’s choices, all of you feel good even at dinner time.

To learn more about how your body can change following a vegan diet, don’t miss our 19 People Whose Lives and Bodies Changed Dramatically After Becoming Vegan article.

Preview photo credit Mikhail Nilov / Pexels

Comments

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TKR ALVA.

3 weeks ago

Why should family meals be vegan?
Why should 3 adapt to 1.
How would he feel if the same rules were put on him.
All family meals will be omnivores, your can eat vegan outside the house or packed lunches. If you really don't like then they will try to find alternatives.
Do the reverse rules work? If they are reasonable one way, then they are reasonable the other way

Skyler H.

3 weeks ago

I think he's being too harsh. Just let everyone eat what they want...

David Coler

3 weeks ago

You!!! Are vegan. Your trying to force your vegan ways onto others that do not want it. If you keep this up you will just alienate the kids and then their mother. You lay down a rule that says nothing but vegan food in your house... I wouldn't eat there then. Stop forcing what you want to do onto others. Your way or the highway usually doesn't work with kids or other adults if you want things to work out.

Jessica Dawson

3 weeks ago

You know even animals we think don't eat meat actually eat meat on occasion. Deer and tortoises are just a couple.

Etoyia Frazier

3 weeks ago

Please tell me these aren't real situations? Are we bullying children still in this day and age? Are we bullying adults? Let's not get married if we feel everyone should do as we do.